I know that working on oneself is hard. It requires, work! Yesterday I blogged about people taking the easiest path in many areas of their life for so many different reasons, from fear, nostalgist, comfort zone and the list goes on and on.
I speak out of my own experience. Lord knows I have so many demons that were created from my crazy childhood, but somewhere along this journey I got tired of doing the same thing over and again and getting the same results.
I went on a serious and painful journey in therapy to understand my crazy way of life and once I understood the root of the madness, I knew that I needed to make changes.
It has been hard, I had to deconstruct everything that I knew about my life that was mad, angry and ugly, in order to reconstruct something whole and healthy. The Bible says, that you cannot put old wine in new bottles. I had to be willing to shed the old for the new.
I speak out of my own experience. Lord knows I have so many demons that were created from my crazy childhood, but somewhere along this journey I got tired of doing the same thing over and again and getting the same results.
I went on a serious and painful journey in therapy to understand my crazy way of life and once I understood the root of the madness, I knew that I needed to make changes.
It has been hard, I had to deconstruct everything that I knew about my life that was mad, angry and ugly, in order to reconstruct something whole and healthy. The Bible says, that you cannot put old wine in new bottles. I had to be willing to shed the old for the new.
In the last months I've been working on me in different areas. I'm ready to go to the next level in this journey as a way to be my best me, so that my best me can help others in their journey to be their best. I'm doing a lot of reading, all things spiritual. My life coaching business is waiting on me and this time next year I want my own development to be ready to help others to grow.
Change is hard I've told you all that over and again. While I've worked through the main demons their are some other areas that I struggle and lack discipline. For sure discipline is a transferable skill. If I can take 15 pills a day, their are other area of my life I can apply this same discipline.
In my life coaching business I take clients who have issues in many different walks of life. But at the end of the day, how can someone take me serious and yet I'm bitching about the same stuff in my own life? How can I help someone when I have lacked the discipline to help myself?
I'm working on my body image as a major issue for me to tackle. So many people with HIV suffer from HIV lipodystrophy. I got a phone call just last week from a medical provider asking me what I was doing about my body fat redistribution because they had a client that was having some real emotional issues around their own lipodystrophy. Back Ground of my HIV Lipodystrophy HERE.
It's no secret that I had liposuction under my chin. I was used as a case study to show other medical dermatologist that treat HIV infected people that they can provide this service for their patients. Read Here
It should not just be reserved for expensive plastic surgeons. It was so successful that he has scheduled others at the clinic. He's also going back under my chin in about 6 weeks to remove some more fat and then adding some more college injections in my cheeks.
Now taking the fat out of my chin was one thing, but they are not even trying to tackle all this body fat. That is left up to me. For many of you who follow me on Social Media you know that I started CrossFit back in October.
I lost 17 pounds and over all inches in a matter of 7 weeks. I went from almost a size 14 at the top part of my body to a size 10. I also changed my diet to Paleo, basically, meat vegetables, fruit, nuts and seeds. I fell off the wagon on both of these somewhere around the Holiday and have been struggling to get back up.
I lost 17 pounds and over all inches in a matter of 7 weeks. I went from almost a size 14 at the top part of my body to a size 10. I also changed my diet to Paleo, basically, meat vegetables, fruit, nuts and seeds. I fell off the wagon on both of these somewhere around the Holiday and have been struggling to get back up.
Today, I'm recommitting myself !! I'm challenging myself to workout 26 of the 30 days in the month of April. My goal is to wear a size 8 comfortably by my birthday May 22.
Mr. Handsome has told me over and over again that consistency is key and I know that to be true. Those first 7 weeks I was all in. Lately, I've just had a hard time making it happen. I am examining those barriers on a much deeper level, so I can conquer them.
I will admit, on the days that I'm not feeling well it's a lot easier giving myself over to how I'm feeling, rather than staying committed to being my best me. The fact is, when I push myself I'm actually able to come home and have a productive work day. Exercise gives me the boost that I need to jump start my day.
Mr. Handsome has told me over and over again that consistency is key and I know that to be true. Those first 7 weeks I was all in. Lately, I've just had a hard time making it happen. I am examining those barriers on a much deeper level, so I can conquer them.
I will admit, on the days that I'm not feeling well it's a lot easier giving myself over to how I'm feeling, rather than staying committed to being my best me. The fact is, when I push myself I'm actually able to come home and have a productive work day. Exercise gives me the boost that I need to jump start my day.
I'm on a mission to show other people living with HIV Lipodystrophy that their body shape can change with a change of diet and a commitment to exercise. My HIV doctor had been telling me for years to work out and she's elated right now. She said to me in my last visit, "I continue to tell my other patients all they need to do is workout and all they do is just continue to bitch about the fat redistribution. I'm glad you are showing that it can be done."
CrossFit for sure has changed my life. I'm doing things that I never thought that I could do. Jumping on boxes is some dope shit. Every time I land, I say to myself, girl that's you on top of this box. I love my CrossFit box, River North CrossFit. Everyone is rooting for everyone! The coaches are wonderful and hard and I hate and love them all at the same time.
For sure CrossFit has made me stronger and expanded my capacity. When I started I couldn't squat to the ground, now my challenge is to squat to the ground with a weight baring bar. Every time I do a thing that I couldn't do the last time I feel accomplished.
CrossFit is about capacity. The more you do it the better you will get and the harder it will get and the better you will get. It's a workout that mandates growth. For sure it's not for the faint at heart.
My bottom line as I approach 52 is this, I'm working on me to be my best me so that I can help others to be their best.
I have lived with HIV for 31 years and AIDS for 22, My life and purpose is the gift God has given to me. I understand that my life and the growth therein helps others to grow, have faith and work on being their best.
I have lived with HIV for 31 years and AIDS for 22, My life and purpose is the gift God has given to me. I understand that my life and the growth therein helps others to grow, have faith and work on being their best.
CrossFit truly challenges me to be my best me. For sure I have become a Crossfit Girl. I just don't see myself going back to a traditional gym. This time next year I will have made a major dent in all that body fat! This is my journey toward discipline watch me transform. *flips hair*
Post Script: BTW, I weighed in yesterday and I'm 140.5 pounds but the owner of River North CrossFit Katie, said to me one day, it's about how you feel about yourself and how your cloths fit. When I reach my goal, I will certainly weight more simply because muscle weights more than fat and btw muscle burns fat and fat burns nothing but your self esteem!!
You can follow my progress on Instagram hash tag #rltgetfit @Raelt
You can follow my progress on Instagram hash tag #rltgetfit @Raelt