Finess Stops Bladder Leaks!

I'm always pleading the case for women to take control of their bodies and health. It's a fact that no one will take care of you the way that you take care of yourself. But over the years, women seem to be stuck, especially when it comes to our bodies.

I think this culture of misogyny has impacted how we view, and even how we treat, our bodies. Equally important, it has created degrees of shame around our bodies when we should be empowered.

And I understand why, around the world our bodies have been used as a weapon against us. Our clitoris have been cut, we have been raped as political pawns, murdered for having premarital sex, married off  too young, and in the United States, our bodies have continuously been front and center as a pawn by our elected officials. No one should have the right to regulate what I do with my body.

Let me give you an example of the kind of shame women have around "female issues". I was at an event with a group of women talking about a new product on the market called Finess, I'll get more into that in a minute, and this brilliant business woman admitted that for years she couldn't bring herself to purchase her own tampons. How does a woman grow to be bold and awesome in one area of her life, but in one of the most important areas, live in fear of what people might think of her? I'm no different, you all know I kept my HIV status a secret for seven years because I was afraid of what people would think of me. Back when I was diagnosed, only "whores, gays and drug addicts got HIV" *Blank stare* Even Cosmopolitan magazine told women that they could have unprotected sex with an HIV positive man if their vagina was "healthy" and if they had "normal" sex, they could not get HIV. *blank stare*

I think most women have been at that place of fear and shame around their bodies one time or the other. How could we not be, living in a culture where we have been taught to be ashamed of our bodies and our sexuality. So when my girlfriend, and fellow blogger Dwana, asked me if I wanted to review this new product for and about women I said absolutely.

Now in full disclosure, when I got Finess in the mail, I was like they want me to put this thing where? But I had promised Dwana and Ann-Marie from the Boombox Network that I would participate, and my word is always my honor. But in real talk, I also needed the money that I was being paid to sample this product. So I pulled out my big girl panties, and tried Finess.

Let me give you the 411 on Finess. It's a revolutionary product, first of its kind, over the counter approved by the FDA to help women stop bladder leaks. Yep, a woman places Finess over her urethra and it actually stops her bladder from leaking. The technology is different from others, in that it's an non-intrusive product, which means, nothing is inserted inside of your body.  And unlike pads that only catch your urine, Finess actually stops you from leaking altogether.  Huh? Yes I said, you put it over your pee hole and it will prevent your bladder from leaking urine.

Bladder Leaks i.e. Urinary Incontinence. huh? Well, bladder leaks are common among women who have given birth and it is especially common among women making their way to menopause like me. But there are some women, simply experiencing spontaneous bladder leaks, you laugh too hard, you sneeze,  you cough, working out you feel a drop, you gotta go to the bathroom real bad and there's no place to go and a little pee leaks out. At one time or another, we have all been there, and if not, like grandmama use to say, "you just keep on living honey." I know since I've been going through this menopause thing, I have been experiencing more and more leaks. But I hadn't yet given any thought about how to control it, other than a pad, that is until now.

After two days of sitting on the counter, I got my nerve up and tried Finess. At the end of the day, this product is for and about making the lives of women better and for that you can always count me on board.

Finess is a sponge like form about 1 1/2 inch long and at the top widest part about the same. It's super soft with a little sticky adhesive on the back and you simply place it over your urethra, i.e your pee hole. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't give a lot of thought to where my pee hole is exactly, I just know it's somewhere near my vagina. So for me, I had to lay on the bed with a mirror and find it. LOL, but for real. 

Now you all know I'm a little slow sometimes, so it was awkward for me holding the mirror and placing Finess over my uthrea all at the same time, but after two tries I was successful. When we had the fireside chat with a group of women who had also sampled Finess, other women in the group had no problem at all, they just sat on the toilet or squatted and Bam! I was envious for real, because every time I used Finess I had to do it with a mirror.

The adhesive was a little sticky at first, but for sure it is safe. After I placed the Finess sponge I was acutely aware of it for at least the first 30 minutes to an hour. But after that, I forgot I even had it on until I actually had to use the bathroom and had to take it off.  Other women in the group said that they even forgot they had it on until they peeed and it fell off. All the women had different experiences with Finess. I had no irritation from the adhesive while wearing Finess or after I took it off. It was very comfortable and I had absolutely no bladder leaks.

Over all, I would recommend Finess to any woman who experiences bladder leaks. It's a non-intrusive way for women to control urinary incontinence. I'm always elated to see new products that give women the power that need over their bodies, so my hat is off to the team over at Finess. You can learn more on thier website.

Now, Finess is not sold in stores, you have to purchase it either from Finess Website or on Amazon for a trail it will cost $4.99. Here's a coupon code for 50% off for a 36 pack at Amazon, V23DVC72. Click here to shop.

YESSSSSSS! I'm giving away a trial pack of six and shoot I'll even throw in a bracelet from RLT Collection. AlI you have to do it is make a comment on this blog post about what you think about Finess. Follow Finess on Twitter or Like them on Facebook and on October 19th, I will announce a winner on this blog. And y'all know you have to be following me. *blank stare* The hashtag is #StopBladderLeaks. 

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Finess. The opinions and text are all mine.

I Need Them All to Go To Counseling and Get Tested On The Way!

Yesterday the sex life of pro football player Victor Cruz of the New York Giants was all over Social Media. I'm not sure how it got there, but since it's been made public I thought that I would give my two scents. First off,  all the parties involved need to come hear me speak. This is cra cra crazyyyyy dysfunctional, did I say crazy mess!!

Apparently Victor's finance Elaina Watley sent a group text to an undisclosed group of women letting them know that she knows they are fucking her man. *blank stare*

Yep, she went on record letting the other women know that she knows who they are and she thought it important that they all knew each other. *BAM* She was basically letting the other women know they ain't special. 

I had to really think about this one, and I was gonna hold my piece but ummmmm, the woman that I am and with the work that I do, I couldn't let is pass.

First off, I certainly hope that Elaina did more than text the other women. I hope her first stop was with brother- man with an ultimatum for counseling. No need to ask Victor to stop fucking around because she admits in the text that they have had that conversation countless times, so basically they need professional help if they are going to stay together.

I mean for real, for real. There's  a whole lot of unhealthy, dysfunction behavior on everyone's part and they honestly need professional help.

If Victor is as committed to marrying Elaina as he has lead her to believe, then he needs to work out the "why"  he is publicly committed to one woman and privately fucking around, not only with one woman, but ummm, a group of women, which could mean two on the modest side or three, four or five on the high end.  He needs to work out why it's important for him to spread his penis so thin. I mean if he wants to be a "hoe pro athlete," he needs to have lunch with Magic Johnson to get some big brother advice. 

Secondly, if Elaina has decided to stay, which she probably has because not too many will walk away from the life style of a professional athlete and  most importantly, she probably loves him. And I think the text spoke volumes of desperation to keep what she think she has. If this be the case,  she needs to get some help. Like some serious help. If she thinks she can control his penis by standing her ground with a bunch of other women she is entirely misguided.

I will bet my life that they all think their vagina is better than hers.

I'm sure Elaina thought exposing him would change some shit. Girl, bye! I mean, they certainly know about her. Victor takes Elaina to tons of public appearances, so the fact that he has a "main" woman and they still fucking him, ummm,  If they were bothered by it, they wouldn't be fucking him in the first place, so they certainly ain't bothered by her text. That's some real talk.

And was this text suppose to change him? Girl, Bye! She stated in the text that she has confronted him many times and if that didn't stop the man who says he loves her and committed to marry her from fucking someone other than her, what the hell was a text gonna do? I mean for real, for real.

If Elaina was all of that to Victor, then he wouldn't be fucking around in the first place. Each time he lays down with another woman, he has disrespected her and has given the "other" women permission to do the same. He has basically sent a message to the other women loud and clear,"we can all disrespect her, I give my permission each time I poke my penis inside of you."

Thirdly, and most importantly, a women can't control a man's penis unless it's in her pocket all of the freaking time... So ummm, she needs to go back to point one and two, if she wants to work through the disrespect then they both need professional help cause if things were going to change they would have long before she sent the text.

Now, I'm not getting ready to blast one woman for messing around with him. This isn't about disrespecting Elaina per say, but about self-respect. At the end of the day you can't expect a person to respect another person, if they don't respect themselves.

I must ask, why would any woman waste her pretty on a man that is publicly engaged to another women? They need to go to counseling too, 'cause this seems like it might be a self worth issue rooted in "my pussy is better than yours and if I prove it I just might become the main woman" Girl, Bye! Pussy is Pussy.

At the end of the day, EVERY woman should want more for themselves, including Elaina. When are we as women going to live the life that demands respect of our, mind, body and spirit? 

Lastly, and most importantly this is some messy shit of who's zooming who  and that's how sexually transmitted diseases get passed from one to the other. I hope they are  using condoms, like  or real. Cause 38% of newly infected cases of HIV are people infected by people who didn't know they even had HIV.... Go Get Tested!!!!

And y'all always asking me why black women have more HIV, then any other group of women. Now you see!!!!
  
And then there's Herpes. Black women also bear the brunt of the herpes cases among women at 48%. *sigh* We can change this by changing our behavior!

 And speaking of herpes, y'all do know that  you can have on a condom and still transmit herpes, YEP!

Herpes is transmitted through contact to contact, so even if he has on the condom but the sore is on his balls, where his balls touch the outside of the vagina during sex, is where herpes will land. And vice versa, if she has a sore on the lower part on her vagina, or her vulva you run the risk of infection. And then there's HPV, and most women don't even know they have it. This isn't about blaming or blasting women, this is about some real talk about sexually transmit diseases and how they get spread. If we want to reduce the cases of STD's then we need to take some responsibility for our bodies when and wherever we can. 

And then there's some super bug of Gonorrhea that will take your ass out of here quicker that AIDS and Syphilis has been on the rise since forever. 

So while everyone is staking claim to one penis, I hope someone thought to put a freaking condom on it! And if not, I hope that what they think they know is true, but I gotta say, with all this fucking and lying, everything would be suspect...

At the end of the day, he could give them all something and they can pass it on to their main man, 'cause some side chicks do have a main man.

Or one of them could give him something that he gives it to all of them and no matter how you slice it we got a big ass public health mess. 

So there you have it, my 2 cents!  I just wanted to give my perspective, in case any woman saw this crazy ass shit and thought that Elaina had done some dope shit by sending that text. Actually she did some desperate shit. And for me, a man that drives me to desperation is not worth five more minutes of my life.  I would prefer to be alone without compromising my self worth then to have a millionaire sleeping in my bed, destroying my spirit every chance he gets. *in my auntie voice* I Need Them All to Go To Counseling and Get Tested On The Way!

Monday Reflection: Get Up From The Table When Shit Is Being Served!

Everybody got some "thing" going on in their life most of the time, if not all of the freaking time.

Some "things" cannot be helped, like an illness you didn't see coming. Like last year when my Sophie was diagnosed with cancer on Wednesday and on the following Monday I had to put her down.

 Like a job that ended unexpectedly, death in the family, someone hitting your car, without stopping and you are left with the task of getting a new one.

Like a person betrays your trust and your life is changed without your permission. Like recently I met a guy who had been in a monogamous relationship for five years, so he thought. After a few years of condom use, he let his guard down and now he is living with HIV. Just that quick, someone else made a decision to do something with their life and it changed both lives.

While some "things" are out of our control, there are "things" in our life we help create. Like that boyfriend that continues to disrespect you whether it be small or big, (by the way a lot of small adds up to big)  yet you just keep hanging on. Like the friend who treat's you like shit, but you keep sitting at the table where the shit is being served.

In both of those cases the fist time was on them, but everything after is about how you decide to deal with it. When shit is being served and you hang around, you tell that person, just by your presence that its O.K. It does not matter what comes out of your mouth. Action always speaks louder than words and your participation creates that "thing in your life, i.e. the stress and chaos.

Now, there is some "things" we can avoid altogether, like when you have just enough money to pay your bills, but you purchased that new "thing" that you convinced yourself was ok, instead of paying all of your bills  and now you're stressed cause the bills are pass due. I know how this can be, a couple of months ago I broke one of my cardinals rules "don't spend money that I don't have in my hand."

It does not matter that I'm expecting money to come in, I just don't over extend myself on the front end anymore. I learned that lesson so many times and I know better. Well, my fur needed to be repaired and put in storage. The furrier wanted upfront money that I didn't have. Because he respects what I do for a living he allowed me to pay installments.

I made a commitment  to pay something that day, which I did; Pay something the following  Monday because I was expecting a check that Friday and then to have the bill paid in full by the end of August. Needless to say, that check didn't come in for over a month and then everything that could have gone wrong did, and I lost control.

First off,  it made me look like a lair and  because my word is my honor I became stressed trying to keep the commitment that I had made.  I gave him money that should have gone to other bills, just to keep as much of my commitment as possible. You talking about stresssssssseddddd OMG!  Just waiting on money to come in became stressful.  And to make matters worst, everything I thought would happen the way I thought it would happen, didn't.  Even paper work to process a check got crazy and I got crazier.  This was a two month long drama that I had caused. I should have taken my fur back home until I had the money to pay for it.

Yep, we all got some "thing" going on in our life whether it's of our own making or not. At the end of the day though, it's not about the "thing" per say, it's about  how we deal, what we learn and what we do next. You all know that Sophie's death sent me into a serious year long depression. I was in it before I even realized it, but once I accepted that truth, I started the hard work of climbing out of that darkness.

 No, I didn't look for the light at the end of the tunnel to rescue me, I started crawling in the darkness searching for a way out of the tunnel. Sometimes you have to do the important work in the darkness.

Even in the fur situation, I had to accept the reality. I didn't have the money, I broke my word to the furrier and all that I could do was make good as soon as I could. Those last two weeks before I paid him off, I decided to buy groceries instead of giving him all that I had. Lesson had been learned, don't break that cardinal rule again for something as frivolous as getting a fur repaired.

You can't always change that "thing" in your life, but you can determine what happens at the end of that "thing." Like the guy who ended up with HIV. He said after some destructive behavior of his own, he literately uprooted and changed his environment. Today, he is living the best he can with what he has to deal with. Ex-Boyfriend gone, no more binge drinking, he accepted HIV because it ain't going anywhere. He's taking his medication, his viral load is undetectable and he has excelled at work in the last year, more than he had in the past 5 years.

I don't think life is about the "thing" that happens to us, the "thing" is just the middle, its what happens at the end of that "thing" that helps to shape who you are.  It's about finding yourself, finding your voice and even finding your purpose.

As you go through your "thing" remember it's not about that "thing" it's about how you deal with that "thing."

No matter how difficult it might be, you have to get up from the table where shit is being served, whether it's your shit or someone else's.

My depression hit me hard, but I decided it didn't have to hit me forever. I got up from the table and started working with professionals that could help me, help myself. That's how you live your best life. You take charge of those things that you can. You don't let that "thing" control your life forever. With every "thing"you have the power to empower yourself, even in the darkest of "things."