Living with Intent!

Now that I'm well into my 50's  there seems to be no turning back. I'm doing what I should have done in my 30's and for sure when I started to see my 40's that is, live with intent.  Well, I sort of lived with very limited intent for 20 years plus, that is, to tell my story to as many people as possible before I died. It was a lofty goal that I did very well. I mean I have spoken at literally hundreds of venues from colleges, churches, high schools and conferences. The only thing is that this goal was single focused and connected to death. Then, I didn't die. Limbo!

As crazy as this may sound, not dying honestly, left me scrambling day to day. I've done everything I had to do to get to the next day, but I rarely thought about the bigger picture and how next month or year was connected to today. As I move into the future, I know it's time for a paradigm shift. I not only need, but I want a new life construct to get me through the rest of my life. One that enriches both me and the lives of others. 

 I use to say that I was living in the midst of dying and that was my truth. For sure, as AIDS was eating away at my body, I was doing that thang. I got up every morning dressed up and participated in life, but expecting death. 

Now my vision for myself is to live until I do die. That means that I'm living life with intent that encompasses the fullness of life. This means I ask myself, "Why am I doing this?" with every single thing. From the food I put in my mouth, to buying a handbag, to every blog I write. I ask these questions, what's my intent? Does it enrich my life or the lives of others? Does it feel right? Or do I have to convince myself? By the way, when you have to convince yourself or have someone else amen your corner, it's probably an action from the head and not the soul.  

I ask myself even with each purchase, Why this handbag, today? Is it to fill some void or make me forget? Is is to show off? Why do I have that need?  Is this purchase drama free?  Drama free meaning, will it leave me broke and unable to pay the rest of my bills? Will I like how I feel tomorrow if I do this today? Why do I want this thing in my life today? 

I search my soul for clarity because the mind can convince you to do some dumb shit. Y'all know I'm telling the truth. This is how it goes,  you say to yourself; if I don't get the handbag today, it may be gone when I come back. If I use some of my bill money for this, I will make it up when I get paid next week. And the list goes on and on. 

That even goes for a man, me included. Been there, done that thang that hurt my soul and rationalized it away. I'm not even going to entertain the justification list for a man, that's a blog for another day because the list is to long.  At the end of the day we just let our mind run all over our soul. The soul always knows what to do! ALWAYS!  And it always has your best interest. 

Oprah says that she ask the intent question with everything she does. She wants to be at peace going into a situation and coming out of a situation. That is the goal for me.  I want a clear and positive focus. I want to make the best moves for my soul. Lawd, yep, I'm planning for my 60's  and 70"s in my 50's. It is NEVER to late to change course. For me, this means that I have grown by leap and bounds. I'm proud of me.

I just finished reading Kris Jenner's autobiography. And I know some of you are not Kardashian fans. I've heard the mean things people say and while y'all talking shit about them, they have not missed one beat. Their brand keeps growing and growing. I'm curious to how people live their lives and build their brand, so I picked up her memoir, Kris Jenner And All Things Kardashian.  It was a pretty good book. For sure she has worked her ass off.

 After leaving her husband Robert Kardashian, for a younger guy who was a piece of shit, and then realizing it after the fact ( see the mind can make you think a good fuck is love), she found herself with no money of her own. 

When Kris met Bruce Jenner she was in the middle of a divorce with four kids and Bruce didn't even have a business card and was living pay check to pay check. She got debilitate about their life and helped to put him back on the map.  During that time, it was about putting food on the table. I know what that feels like. What am I going to do to simply get from day to day? Food on the table was her primary motivation. 

 It wasn't until Kris was hitting 50 and the show was in it's first season that she started living with intent for the future of her family, rather than hand to mouth.  She listened to her soul. Her gut told her it felt right and with everything she did, she asked the hard questions. What's next? How do we continue to be better and do better? How do I turn 15 minutes of fame into 30 and 30 into an hour? What does it mean to live our life on stage and how does it help all of us, her family and the universe. 

You must ask yourself the hard questions and be ready for the answers, your truths. You must also be prepared to do the hard work. You can't make sugar out of shit, but you certainly can make candy out of sugar and the last time I checked sugar was less than $3 bucks for a five pound bag; But first you got to buy that bag of sugar. Every action has a reaction.

You must be willing to buy into your own dream. No one is going to hand it to you on a silver platter. You must invest in yourself to reap any benefits. Every time I think about a new handbag, I remind myself of the tea line I'm working on. I ask myself, which is more important, Tea With Rae or slinging a new handbag?

No one owes you a damn thing. You reap what you sow. If you sow handbags, five years from now you will have a lot of old bags taking up space, if you invest in your feature, you will reap the benefits, with handbags you dreamed of.

 Kris said "Passion can be as powerful as preparation" Oprah put it this way, "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." Kris had a vision and made a plan. She had a check list and every time a door opened she wasn't afraid to go through it.  Kris and Kim meet every six mouths to plan their next step. No matter what you think about Kim, she is one hard working woman, nor is she afraid of failure.  There is no lost in trying nor is their lost in preparation, something good going in, always means something good coming out. When are you going to STOP talking about that dream and put it into action?

Vision is everything. Your gut, your soul, whatever you want to call it is never wrong. The problem is the limitations we place on ourselves. My limitations were rooted in the life expectancy of a person living with AIDS. Back then it was three years. I was blinded by death and then I lived.

 Oprah said she had a vision that she would be teaching thousands of people and it was very different from her talk show. Her vision finally came true, but first after years of the Oprah Show she had to be willing to walk away from one thing to embrace another. Fear lays in your head, not in your soul. 

As I move forward with my life. I will pause and ask you, how are you preparing to live your best life? Intent is deliberate and deliberate means action. 

Living in My Right Now: A LIfe Update!

Speaking at FAMU

Where the heck have I been? I'm glad you asked! I've been using all of my energy to take care of me. Self-care should always be at the top of one's list. Between these menopause issues, hot flashes, sleep deprivation and now HIV Neuropathy and adjusting to medication it's taken all of my energy.

I haven't been blogging but I've done some work. I  spoke at FAMU two weeks ago. I love those student leaders. They always find a way to keep HIV/AIDS in front of their classmates. It was a great program and great dialogue. Yet traveling under these health conditions always add extra stress and require more time to bounce back. I came home and shut it down for a few days. Then last week I spoke at a south suburban high school in Chicago, TF North and keynoted the Upward Bound Leadership Conference at Chicago State University.

Human AIDS Ribbon /TFNorth

Mostly, I've been dealing with me. You know this menopause stuff seems to have no end. I have had 3 different dose adjustments of the Hormone Replacement Therapy.

Then  I started having nerve pain in my face, hands and feet. So what does that feel like? I'm glad you asked, at one end of the spectrum a burning sensation and at the other end, like someone is sticking pins in my feet, hands and face all the time.  I haven't had Neuropathy this bad in a few years.

I always had Neuropathy, but over the years the intensity of the pain became mild and I learned to manage. I told a student once in a speaking engagement that their is never a time when I don't feel something in my feet, whether its the numbness, burning or tingling, but three weeks ago the pain became obtrusive and I found myself saying, "I'm hurting" which is rare for me to complain about pain.

I typically take my pain in stride. However, I knew this time that I needed to get back on medication to get some control.  All the medications to treat Neuropathy are very difficult to take. They are mostly anticonvulsants medications and first generation antidepressants, which have some mean side effects. One just feels lifeless, that the best explanation I can come up with. 

After spending last Wednesday in bed basically I decided that I was over it. I think  that I would prefer to hurt then to be non-functional. Luke said to me, "I'm sorry that you have to choose. "But I felt like I had to. My tolerance for pain is high but not being able to function because of mediation is worst. In the couple of weeks that I was on the medication, there was some improvement, but shoot I had gotten to a place where I couldn't get out of bed because of the side effects.  I'm going to see my doctor this week to see if we can fine some place in between.

I am seriously thinking about alternative non traditional neuropathy avenues that I can take to get some of this health stuff under control. The thing about me is that I never give up or in to the madness.

What I no longer do,  is try to keep up to meet people's approval. If I can't get it done, or do something then I accept it and more on.

 I'm devoting my energy to self-care and that's my bottom line. For sure, at soon to be 52 years of age, I want to live my best life and be my best me so that I can be my best for Gods earthly plan for my life.  

 I've been trying to maintain the self-care component in my life like working out: Doctors orders! Then on last Monday I started Yoga! I love, love love love it. Not only does it work on your core but it's a calming centering excise that takes you away from the madness of the day.

I've been making some major changes in my life. Well, Mr. Handsome decided that he didn't want to work toward a relationship. He actually like being single and didn't want to put in the work and on that note, I heard him loud and clear. I have no desire to be with a man and be half in/half out; those days are long gone!!

Yep, some major changes. I resigned from the leadership positions at my church. I was not capable at this junction to meet the expectations and I'm grown enough to be able to walk away from what's not working in my life. I'm also coming to terms that my ministry, call and gifts are public. And while organized religion has a place in my life, it is not my call.

As I was facing this dilemma I pulled out my old application for seminary to revisit my understanding of ministry as I saw it for me. It reminded me that I was always clear that my ministry was one of public. But once I was ordained, I lost my path trying to meet people's expectation of an ordained minister.

I'm feeling really proud of my own growth. The fact that I was able to walk away without thinking about the judgements of what people think I should be doing as a minister was major for me. As long as God and  I know what I'm suppose to be doing, I'm straight.

Honestly, while I've had to work through organize religion and it's role in my life. I have also been on this Spiritual journey. I've been reading these recommend books by Oprah on spiritually and personal growth. I will admit, a person has to be ready to receive these concepts. I think these books are powerful, but if you are not ready, you will miss the lessons that lays within.
Also new for me, I've been mediating with Oprah and Deepak. I know shut up! But for sure it has  keep me centered and grounded in ways I had no idea. 

If you are not content with where you are in life, then do something about it. If you want to grow, then do something about it. If you want to be your best you, then do it.

It's been an amazing journey for me, meditating, yoga but most importantly, becoming still. I'm always so busy and my mind is always on over load. I'm learning to tune out the noise in my head, the noise of others and of what you think is in other peoples head. Don't you know, we can have an entire conversation in our head based of assumptions.

It's been amazing in these last two months as I've watched the conversations in my head and not participated. I just simply let them pass through me and keep it all flowing. I'm leaning that from some of these Spiritual books I'm reading. I haven't mastered this passing through, but I'm working on it for sure. Half of life's drama stem from the conversations in our head.  We have convinced ourselves of some shit and then we act on it. I know this has been true for me.

My journey with HIV/AIDS has been a world wind to say the least. Shoot my life has been a world wind. The gratitude in my heart for the life that God has blessed me with is beyond measure: The growth that I have experience; The demons that I have buried; Learning to forgive and then forgiving, others and myself; The learning to like me, then love me and then act on that love has all been life changing.

Even with all the health challenges I'm currently facing, I'm learning to live in my right now and make the best decisions to be my best me.

At the end of the day, God has granted me the gift  of life, I want to live at my full potential. Don't you? Well then, Let's Go! 

Monday Reflection: The Power of Knowledge!

 Knowledge is a powerful thing. We can use it for greatness or use it against the natural order of the life that God has given us. That's with every single thing in life. Just because you know how to make a bomb, does not mean you have to use it to destroy others. Nope, even the "baddest" technology can be for a greater good.

Now, my issue today isn't that complicated. In fact, in the scheme of the universe it's a small issue, but for me, it weights heavy on my heart and in my freaking back, tummy and arms. Two weeks ago, I made a declaration about my weight. I laid out a good argument on why I need to hit the gym. I was good that week and then last week it went to hell in a hand basket. CLICK Here to Read!

My nights were so sleepless last week that I was dragging and cranky all week. Everything I did was a struggle because of sleep deprivation. That's why I didn't blog last week. I was too tired and cranky to even think. Menopause is kicking my tail. I guess they call it pre- menopausal. I haven't stop my menstrual cycle just yet, I have one every 2-5 months, but these night sweats and mood swings  have been all consuming.  Let me tell you, waking up from sleep in the middle of the night because it feels like you are on fire from the inside is not pretty. Waking up twice in the middle of the night is like a nightmare from hell.

When I made it to therapy last week, I thought that I was losing my mind. We tried to unpack this issue as best as we could. The fact of the matter is I have a lot of discipline and I do every single thing I put my mind to, so what is the darn problem?

The size 2 suit is to big. Look at the looseness in the arms.

Maybe there are a few issues. One problem I think is that somewhere deep inside, I'm feeling a tad defeated by HIV in the area of weight. I started out 20 years ago in a size 8 at my lowest, a steady 10 and a 12, when I was eating more than moving.

Then I made a transition to AIDS and in 4 months I went from a 12 to a 10, to a 8, to a size 6. Then I went from a size 6 to a 4 and stayed there a while. And then I went to a size 2 to a 0. I stayed there for a while and that's when I started to see death staring me in the face. Every time I looked in the mirror, death said to me, "I'm waiting." I'm so glad that God has power over death.

Then I started the new HIV medications and I went back up to a size 6 and I stayed there for almost two years. Then after a couple of years on the new HIV medication my weight shifted. I woke up one morning and I was a size 14 at the top part of my body, a 8 at my waist line and a 2 at my thighs. I was a hot freaking mess and I cried all the time. HIV lipodystrophy  is a trip. You can read an older blog post about it HERE!

Can you image the clothes drama that I have had with all these size changes with HIV?  Can you image what it's like to go from magazine cover ready to photo shop ready?

At one point after my weight shifted, I was able to get it under control. I met this trainer Cornell McCleanen and working out became a way of life.  I was able to get the top part of my body to a 8-10, and the waist down to a 4 and build the bottom up so I didn't look so freakin disproportionate.

 Then drug resistant herpes came and I spent more time in bed then walking. For sure, working out was not on my agenda cause ummm it hurt too bad to walk.

Working out had became a way of life life  for me and it was taken away right before my eyes, without any recourse. You can read about my Herpes drama HERE! The doctors are clear that the damage done to my immune system in those early day has made it possible for Herpes to become this aggressive nightmare for me today. (There are other post on herpes just search the labels)

A week of IV medication! 

BUT... I have not had an herpes outbreak in 3 months that means NO IV medication! I thank God everyday, but underneath I'm holding my breath, crossing my fingers and prying that it stays away.

The point is, right now I am healthy. I have no barriers to working out. Even my therapist thinks it's a good idea. She said that working out regularly works as well as antidepressant for mild depression.  Menopause does cause depression and mood swings that is for sure.

So with all this knowledge about how good working out is for me, and my success in the past with working out, what's the freaking problem? Why can't I use this knowledge for my good and wellness?

Sigh.... I have to come to terms with the fact, that

I can only control what I can control for the time that I can control it. I may never get my body to shape exacty how I want it. Lipodystrophy does not stop because you work out. I have to work extra hard to see some improvements and I then have to work to maintain those improvements.

And guest what? Herpes still may come back and then I will have to start over again.  It is what it is... You can control what you can, with the knowledge that you have, while you can control what you can.

I have got to come to terms with this.  That's it.... Oprah says often, "When you know better you should do better. "I say often, "Knowing better does not mean that you do better." Sometimes doing better means letting go of the easy, the familiar and the possibility of failure.  In the end, as powerful as knowledge is, we render it powerless when we don't act on the goodness of what we know.

Bracelet of The Week! Neon Glam! This bracelet says Summer Fun! We LOVE LOVE LOVE these Neon Beads.

 Perfect for Stacking!! This Neon bracelet is a beautiful orange 12-13 mm glass beads that have been rubberized. I am so fascinated with this rubberized glass. They take glass beads and rubberized them;how cool is that? SHOP HERE while supplies last! All Bracelets of the Week are very limited!

Change Your MInd... Your Ass Will Follow...

Only so much fucking complaining you can do about something that you can change. This is some real talk right here. You don't like how someone treats you, then stop participating. For Real, For Real. A while back I was talking to this guy and I didn't like some of his behavior. I asked him to stop, but he either wasn't cable of change or he didn't give a fuck about how I felt. So you know what I did, right? Right! I sent him a quick e-mail saying just that and asked him to not bother by reaching out again.

If I had continued to talk to him under those conditions, then I was saying to him that I didn't really mean what I had asked of him, that he never bothered to do. I figured that there was no point in having yet another stupid ass conversation with him about the same topic. We had been down that path a year or so before, this was a second chance and I was so over it. There will not be a third and that's for real!

There's a lot of stuff we don't like in our life that we can change. You don't like your job environment, then start looking for a new one. You don't like how you feel when you do something, then stop it! You don't like how people make you feel then stop giving them that chance.

There is a lot of stuff that we can change that we don't. You tried of having high blood pressure, then get it under control, take your medication but change your damn eating habits. Put the fucking salt and fat down!

While God is in charge, God has also given us unlimited free will to make choices for our lives to live whole and healthy or destructive and foolish. God is such an awesome parent! You decide and then you live with your decision and He comforts while you are in the valley. You gotta grow up, God is letting you do that one on your own.

Now, I know that some issues are deeper than saying just do it, and require deeper work in therapy to unpack! That was my truth with shopping to darn much and men.com, looking for someone to love me. Somethings require a lot of work with the right professionals. You can't be afraid or ashamed to get the help that you need to be a better you.

I will never forget that day Oprah said, once she figured out that she didn't just like potato chips, but eating was connected to her childhood sexual abuse; food had deeper issues for her and understanding that she was able to work on her weight under better conditions.

There's nothing like a mind change to change ones life. My first love Randy use to say to me all the time, "Change your mind and your ass will follow," this is the gospel truth!

However, with other things there requires a mind change and some discipline. It's not enough to now better, you have to do the better that you know. That's being your best you.

We don't apply discipline. We keep saying tomorrow and then tomorrow becomes today. My therapist use to remind me often that discipline is a transferable skill.

The sweater I'm wearing is an extra large and the skirt is a size 4

I've been whining about losing weight for a while. HIV itself combined with HIV medications causes something called lipodystrophy. It redistributes my fat from the bottom to the top; and when I gain weight it all goes to the top.

In the last two years I've been on IV medication a lot, this combined with nerve pain, I've had very little opportunity to workout and have spent more time in bed. As a result I gained 25 pounds! I've lost about 10 of those with just changing my eating habits and more movement outside the house; but for sure I have more fat pockets than hot pockets.

Now that I'm healthy give or take, I have decided to but my foot down! About two weeks ago I said I was headed to the gym. I made it that day, but then excuses took control of my life. I decided this weekend that enough was enough and on Monday I crawled out of bed and went straight to the gym. I'm headed to the doctors this morning so we will see how the rest of the week goes. The thing is, my gym is opened 24 hours. Like so what excuse can I come up with, other then me not applying discipline to my life?

This week I have done better than two weeks ago. We are at Wednesday and I've been to the gym two of the three days so far.

The thing is, I can't fit any of my clothes and y'all know I have no money to get new ones. This has forced me to wear the same ensembles over and over again, when I have a closet full of clothes. *SMDH* I have so many St. John Knit suits that I can't fit, it's a shame and a testament to waste in my life.

I hate the way lipodystrophy makes me look and I complain about it almost everyday. I really need to do this for me.

There are other reasons why I need to hit the gym other than how lipodystrophy has reshaped my body making me kinda depressed. When the fat is redistributed it tends to go to the back, the chin and the mid-section. Studies over and again have determined the more fat you have in your mid-section that more likely you are to have heart issues. On top of that, my HIV medication causes high cholesterol. I'm off the chart with very high cholesterol, the bad kind (LDL). Wouldn't it be a shame to live this long from HIV to have a heart attack or a stoke?

Me having a Dexa Scan

Then to top that off, new research is showing that HIV actually destroys a persons bone density over time. With this information my gynecologist thought that I might be at a high risk. I'm going through menopause and my mother is white. White women have more bone density issues then black women. She ordered a bone dentistry scan and low and behold I have already started to loose bone. Not enough to take the major drugs to treat it, but enough to be concerned about the direction that I'm going. I started a 1000 mg of calcium and she wants me to work out 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week as a preventative measure, before I start shrinking.

Lastly, on the health tip. Depression is an ongoing battle for me. I ain't this happy go getter all the time. Living with HIV is hard! Really hard! I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy. It has been proven that working out increases the serotonin, and who doesn't need more serotonin? Come on somebody, working out has it's benefits.

This is a $500.00 Escada blouse that's hanging in my closet that's to small 

So you see, I have a lot of reasons to hit the gym and change my life style. When I first developed lipodystrophy, well to be honest, after a year of literally crying about it. I was a size 14 at the top, my waist was a size 8 and my thighs and legs a size 2, I hit the gym and changed my life style.

The key is to eat healthy, minimize fat and sugar, cardio and weights. Weights are a must because the more muscle you gain the more fat you burn. Plus, I'm so small at my bottom, I need to balance it off, loose the top and build the bottom.

I was doing so well, then somewhere that just went to hell in a hand basket. I think when I started getting that drug resistant herpes, it changed my life style for sure, on and off IV meds all the time, nerve pain in my back and legs. Walking is even painful. I know that I am capable, I've done it before. I just need to be disciplined. Being healthy has to be just as important as being alive.

Soooooooo I'm saying all of this to say, some things in our life that we are unhappy about we can change. I'm so happy that God has given us free will. I know for sure that I have not been using my freewill in all areas of my life to be the best I can be.

I'm not trying to be a perfect me, I just want to be the best me! What about you? I can here Randy with that wonderful smile on his face saying as clear as day, "All you have to do darling, is change your mind and your ass will surly follow." But I've learned over the years, in order to get that ass in action, you have to add some discipline to the knowledge that you know.

Stir Up Your Gifts!

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If I can toot my own horn, I must say that I'm proud of me! I've done something's with my life. Like for real... For real I have never stopped living and growing no matter what has come my way. By the time I was 24 years old I had worked my second Presidential Campaign as a senior staff person.

Since I've been doing HIV/AIDS work, I have spoken to hundreds of audiences. I have an  Emmy Award, covers of magazines, 27 years of education. Like I have never stopped living! For sure, one of the things I'm most proud of outside of my work in HIV, is my bracelet business.

My first bracelet sale for the website was on August 23, 2009 just six months after I started designing. I decided to take a leap and launch a full line of bracelets because I could see that I had a gift that was waiting to shine. Rarely, are we willing to give it a go. We are always bound by what people may think of us; or God forbid, failure.

I had a lot of on lookers, hummm, actually friends who asked, "You are actually going to sale bracelets?" And follow up with, "Who's gonna buy them?" "We'll obviously not you," I thought and kept it moving. I knew that I knew, just like I knew that I was suppose to be speaking about my life. With that feeling in my gut, I kept pressing my way.

Now can I be honest? My early designs were not GREAT, but they had potential. I was still learning the trade of jewelry making. I only had one lesson from a friend Rendona and I took the ball rolling. Thanks Rae!

It was an idea that needed time and work. I had the eye! I just needed to grow my skill. I had something that I knew I could mature over time. I wasn't going to quit.

Be clear, from day one my vision was clear. I knew that I was NOT making jewelry on the side. I was designing collections of bracelets. And I have been quick to correct anyone. Just recently someone asked, "Oh you make jewelry as a hobby?" I responded, no I have a business; I design bracelets." Now, for me that was key. Ones vision is important. If you don't know where you are going, you have no idea where you will end up!

I'm glad that I was clear on my vision, because 3 years ago people turned their nose up at stretch bracelets and now everybody and their mama is making them and Neiman Marcus and Barney's are selling them. just not mine, YET! :) Shoot, let me tell you, I had a "girl friend" who could have used her clot for me to get me some good PR, but instead turned her nose up at me 3 years ago, who I bumped into a bead shop twice recently. SHUT UP!

BeJeweled Fall/Winter Collection 2012!

So everyone is "making" stretch bracelets and I'm Designing Bracelet Collections; on this point I've NEVER been confused. Every season I start with an idea and stretchhhh it to its limits. It may start with a color like red, of a concept like jewels and I spend hours upon hours making the concept a reality.

So each season there is something new and fresh on RLT Collection website! Now, I have two permanent collections, Pearls because they are my favorite gemstones and Black because it's my favorite color. However, while the theme stays the same, the designs do change. I just completed a new installment for The Love of Black Collection and they are wonderful. New Pearl bracelets are on my design board now.

I've been working on my Fall/Winter 2012 for months now. For sure my health has been a barrier these last few months, but I kept working on the Collections, on the days I felt well enough, until I saw completion. I must say, this is my BEST work. They just keep getting better and better. I have three Collections for Fall/Winter, Red Baby, The Wonder of Agates and BeJeweled. There is a lot of texture in my Fall/Winter Collections and that is innovative. I knew that I had to stretchhhhh the concept of stretch bracelets. :)

1962 Bracelet/ Original Concepts

I have the 1962 Bracelet. It functions like a stretch but it wears like a bangle; a combination of beads and wire. There will be a full permanent collection coming, but for now, I have a few in the three current Collections on the site. This is an original design idea, that I know EVERYone is going to copy. But I'm cool because I know that I birthed it!

I also have stretch bracelets with a chain combination. They wear like a chain bracelet with the functionally of a stretch bracelet, also an original design idea. I'm also introducing some simple necklace designs for each collection. You keep asking, but my focus will remain BRACELETS!

I'm proud of my latest work!! I tell people all the time, "I'm going to make RLT Collection a success," and many of them laugh me off in agreement. I just shrug them off and keep pouring everything into RLT Collection! I design them, I make them, and I ship them! I'm a one woman show waiting to grow bigger!

BeJeweled Fall/Winter Collection 2012!

I LOVE my customers! I'm simply honored that someone wears my designs! People can wear anything they want, and my bracelets don't have to be one of them. I so understand it!! THANK YOU!! Now, I haven't made any massive money, but after that first year and the half, I was no longer in the red. And some days, if it's not for a bracelet sale, I don't know how I would make it.

For sure, I reinvest and reinvest! I will buy gemstones and all the components to make bracelets and forgo a new outfit when I have extra money. I spend hours working through designs. I give RLT Collection all that it needs to grow. I'm not afraid of hard work. Nor am I afraid of success the old fashion way, HARD WORK!

I use to be taken a back by the fact that I know so many people and no one will give me a break. But then in the end, I would give someone other than God the credit. So I've been pluggin away and waiting until that door is suppose to open. We fail to remember that God's time is not always our time.

Sheryl Lee Ralph

My designs have gotten better and that's for sure. Actress Sheryl Lee Ralph, who is a friend has been a testament to my growth. I remember I sent her some that first round, and she politely thanked me and that was that.

Then she and I did the Town Hall Meeting last year for Dionne Warwick and I had bracelets for her. Some people would have had an attitude because she wasn't wearing that first group. Well, she wore them, but they didn't hold up. LOL

But I didn't let that bother me and I gave her some new designs and low and behold when she walked into my house a month ago, she was wearing them. Sheryl said, "My Sister, I wear them all the time." She also got a sneak peak at the new collections before they went to the photographers and loved, loved loved them.

Side Bar: I also have a photographer now. Thank God I don't have to take pictures anymore. Jerolyn Wiggins, J Marshell Photography, who also took the photos for my book cover. I am so grateful!

Sheryl loved my Fall/Winter Collection so much, she showed the style team on a new television project she's working on for Nick At Nite and they loved them! She called 10 minutes before I went into the procedure to get the port removed and the next day, I crawled out of bed, pain, stitches and all and pulled together 27 designs and overnighted. They made the polite! Yey!!  I can't wait to see which ones from Fall Collection made it. Then Sheryl turned around and wore them for a new movie she is working on and they agreed to give me credits! POW!! I will keep you inform.

Red Baby Collection!

I am NOT afraid of HARD WORK! I am NOT afraid of chance taking! You have to believe in your gifts and develop them and God will open the door. Oprah says, "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." I am not waiting on the pie to fall out of the sky! God has given each of us gifts. I'm not afraid to Stir Up The Gifts that God have planted inside of me.

In order to grow anything, you have to water it! Some plants even takes years of watering to grow; like the bamboo plant takes 7 years.

I learned as a baker, when you are making anything, you some times have to beat those ingredients over and over. I know the best pound cakes take time! If you don't beat the butter and sugar long enough before you add the other indigents you will have a heavy cake. And I know for me, I'll pass up the heavy pound cake every time. So when I make a pound cake, I stir and stir and stir. I'll even sit on a stool if need be, but I do what I must to render the best result.

For The Love of Black Collection!

I even understand with my bracelets making the television screen, it is just the beginning of what's to come. So I can't get weary if nothing extra comes of it. I'm honored that they were good enough to make the cut. But I also know that God is letting me take a peak into my feature.

I'm even more determine! I'll Keep Stirring! My message to you, As we approach 2013, Stir up the gifts that God has given you!

 Each day you live, it lives within you... Don't squander your gifts afraid of failure or of what people will say, or who will or will not support you...

God has a plan for every good work God had planted inside of you! Stir up Your Gift!

The Wonder of Agates Collection!

BeJeweled Collection!

The Wonder of Agates Collection!

Paying It Forward: Through Twitter?

I tell people every day that I can bank on the Power of Twitter and Social Media. It connects people  and issues worldwide who in other circumstances would have never known each other.

I remember last fall when I walked into Kilwins Chocolates in Chicago's Old Town. I had been waiting for what seemed like all summer for them to open. Boy was I one happy woman; Being a chocolate lover and all. I was delighted to learn that first day that the owner was an African-American woman.

After the fall started to turn into winter, I wondered how Kilwins would make it through the cold winter months where business typically slows down for Ice Cream and Candy specialty stores. Each time I went in, I would talk to Jackie about hosting one of my HIV/AIDS Tweet-up's to help bring awareness to both the issue that is dear to my heart and her business. I mean, here we have an African-American woman owning a chocolate shop in Old Town, I knew I needed to help.

Serving Ice Cream at the Heart 2 Heart Tweet-up

So one day, I just went in and put my foot down. Jackie and I spent hours talking. Me of course giving bits and pieces of my life story and work, while teaching Jackie how to tweet. When I left that day, the deal was set, she would start using Twitter to bring more PR to her store as well as, host the Heart 2 Heart HIV Tweet-up on National Black AIDS Awareness Day.

That day I shared with Jackie how I was struggling finically. AIDS is no longer a sexy topic and speaking engagements are far and few in between. I talked about my dream to have the latest IPhone, but I just didn't see it in my budget. I needed the phone for my work. Even though I wasn't speaking as much, I was using Social Media heavily for my work. God called me to do this work and I must use every tool that is available, rather than cry about what isn't.


Well, the next day Jackie called and asked me to stop by the store. When I arrived her husband had his coat on and took me straight to the Apple Store. Jackie said to me, "You need to have the best technology possible for the important work that you are doing" WOW, I was so overwhelmed! And just a month later the Heart 2 Heart Tweet-up was a huge success.

Just the other day I told Jackie she needed to get back on her Twitter game because competition has moved into the neighborhood. Kilwins is not just an ice cream parlor but a wonderful chocolate store. She assured me she would once she got a new phone.

Well with a new phone in tote, she's been just tweeting away. And a week ago she tweeted Oprah and POW she was featured on one of the Life Classes.

I'm so honored to have been the one to introduce Jackie to Twitter, clearly it is doing wonders for her. But isn't it interesting how life works? Look how it all pays forward. I suggested Jackie host one of my HIV/AIDS Tweet-Up's. From that I got a new IPhone to Tweet about HIV/AIDS and now, through the power of Twitter, she reached Oprah.

Now Jackie is hosting her own Tweet-Up; How about that?! This Friday she will be hosting a viewing of Oprah's Life Classes and bringing attention to the Own Network. Yes she will have lots of free fudge for you to sample.

I'm joining her and you should too as we watch Oprah Life Class and Tweet to draw attention to the wonderful and powerful life classes and the new Oprah Winfrey Network. 

I'm going to be honest. I'm a new comer to Oprah, Life Classes, but boy am I hooked. You can check out my first blog here about the impact of Oprahs life class on my life.

But most of all join Jackie this Friday for Fudge, Oprah's Life Class and lots of Tweets. Kilwins Chocolate's,  6:00 p.m. to 9:30, 1405 N. Wells in Chicago. I will be there to hang out and watch O's Life Class with Jackie too. You gotta keep paying it forward. You can RSVP here! See ya tomorrow at Kilwins Chicago.

Monday Reflection: God Will Bless Your Work!

I must admit I've been a late comer to Oprah's Life Class. I'm not sure why, but I just never tuned in until my BFF Markeeda commandeered the remote control last Thursday. Of course I stopped in my tracks because one of my favorite celebrities, Paula Deen was her guest. I LOVE Paula Deen! I mean everything Paula, from her story, drive, spirit and yes her dog gone recipes. I have NEVER had a bad recipe. OMG!

Paula found herself a young divorcee with no money and turned her one skill and passion into a million dollar empire. She went from $20 to $20 million.  Oprah asked her how she do it. And Paula said the most profound thing; And that has stuck with me all week just like gorilla glue. She said, "I did the hard work and God blessed it." WOW! How profound for an era of microwave and quick fixes to almost everything.

The Bible says that God will make room for your gift and I know this to be true in my own life. But how can God bless your gift if you never use it? I've simply had it with all this name it and claim it jive that floats in our world today, especially in these prosperity Churches. Yes there is some validity to blessing the church and the man and woman of God... But to make that the primary connection to one's blessing, is just not right nor is it Biblical.

There are so many Biblical examples of God blessing a person because they put some effort into it. From the lame man on the side of the pool made to walk, to the woman with the issue of blood, who risked everything going out in public and touching Jesus to get healed to the parable of the talents.

 The way it goes, Jesus  gave one person 5 talents, another 2  talents and another 1 talent, each according to his ability. The person with 5 talents worked all talents and gained 5 more, the one with 2 talents worked them both and gained 2 more, but the person with 1 talent buried it and gained nothing as a result. Nothing rendered, nothing gained. Even Jesus often performed a miracle with something. He turned the water into wine. He fed the 5000 with the fish and five loaves of bread. We always ask, What Would Jesus Do?  Well there are many examples, of putting what is before you to work.

Paula Deen had a gift for cooking and instead of hiding her gift as she did herself with agoraphobia for many years, she used what was before her.

Yes, she was afraid of leaving the house, but that didn't stop her. She sent her sons out with bag lunches and from that she grew an empire.  She even remembered that her lunches didn't look like much, but they tasted good. I submit the more she cooked, the more she grew her skill.

RLT Collection F/W 2011

I feel that way about my bracelet collection. The more I design and craft the better they will become. Over these last three years I can even see the the sophistication in my designs. And the more I design, the more I want to design. The more I design, the more sales I will get.

Paula Deen was so on point, God will bless your work. You cannot be afraid to step out there. Often times people are stuck in fear, afraid of failure, afraid of what people will think of you, just afraid.  There are no quick fixes in life.
In truth, you pay for everything you get in life, one way or the other. There is no pie in the sky, no gold at the end of the rainbow, no prayer cloth, or a minister that will make you rich. You have to do something for yourself.

So what everything isn't the way you want it, to make that move. In honesty, life will never be perfect, nor will the conditions that you think you need to follow your dream. Remember, Paula was afraid to leave the house; stuck in her own skin, but not in her gift. Ain't that something, this woman didn't allow the fears in one area of her life to carry over into other areas of her life. She used what was before her.

What's your excuse for NOT using all the talents that God has given you, not only for your own goodness, but for the goodness of others?

 I will stand by this idea that God will give you all that you need to make the most out of your talents, but you must be willing to use them. Paula said it best, "I did the work, and God blessed it!!"