Tap Into Your Own Power!

Today is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day and my message is unwavering. We have to tap into our own power. We have to make the decision to put ourselves first, love ourselves first and absolutely love ourselves more than wanting and needing a man in our life.  

Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with dating and love and all that good stuff. There's even nothing wrong with sex. Studies show that people who have sex are happier beings. 

It's just, the decision that you make about your life and body should be rooted in self-love, not the love or desire for love that you have or want from another. If I've learn one thing from other women in the twenty-two years that I've been educating about HIV/AIDS, it's this, the only person that will keep you safe in the end is you.  If I had a dollar for all the stories women have told me about what they thought about their relationship that was not true, I could get me a cute designer bag. 

We make decisions everyday about our lives, based on what someone has told us that we believe, what we assumed and even what we hope for our future. When we should be making decisions on what we know to be true, for sure. We plan our future down to the last "T" but when it comes to dating and love we sometimes get so caught up, that we start making decisions that leave us vulnerable. 

Let me use this example, if your employer told you that your job was going to end. They don't know the date, but for sure, it was not going to last.  You would start looking for another job in spite of the fact that you continue to go to work  everyday. You wouldn't keep hoping that the job wasn't going to end, you would prepare yourself. In fact, even if six months had passed the stress along of waiting for the ball to drop would make you get the hell out of that place.

But if a man tells you that he does not want a relationship, yet he keeps calling, texting, soaking up your space and diving into your goodness, you would rationalize that he eventually will come around. "He must like me," you say to yourself, "but maybe he's afraid of commitment." His behavior makes you  think that one day he's going to say, "I want you as my woman for real" *blank stare* But the man done told you that he does not want a relationship and he meant that shit. That's why he has never introduced you as his women, in spite of how he treats you in private . You keep holding on waiting and wanting and losing a part of yourself with each passing day. Ladies, I'm a witness that the idea of a healthy relationship does not make it true. Just like when the boss say that they are closing the doors, coming to work everyday does not change that fact.

I keep asking why we make these decisions for ourselves that our unhealthy in search of what we think will make us whole. When in fact the only thing that will make us whole is living from our soul.  We live from our soul when we make decisions that lift us up in every single way, mind, body and spirit. Oprah says all the time, that we are responsible for ourselves and that is a truth I will bank on. Yet we surrender ourselves in the name of love.  It really is up to us to take control over our lives and our bodies. Our body belongs to us, our life is our own and some of us treat our designer handbag better than we treat ourselves. 

My suggestions to take control over your life and body.

1) Insist on Condom Use. Every time you have sex without a condom you put your life against that sexual experience and for sure there is no sex worth your life. I promise, if you tell him, no condom no sex  and mean it, he will adjust. If he doesn't want to adjust, you have to not only ask yourself but also give an honest answer, is sex without a condom a risk I'm willing to take? Am I prepared for the consequences of what I don't know?

The reality is this, it's 2 to 1 that a man will infect a woman with HIV and 20 to 1 that a woman will infect a man. Furthermore, over half of the cases of women infected with HIV are through heterosexual sex. We continue to have unprotected sex a decision that is made on what we think we know or we do it in the heat of the moment. Passion will not save your life, neither will your assumptions about your partner. For sure, If the penis ain't in your pocket you have no idea what it's doing when it ain't with you. I say often, "I hope what you think you know about your partner is true."

2) Everyone who has ever had sex needs to be tested for HIV. When people say they don't want to know, I say that's some stupid shit. Why wouldn't you want to know about a medical condition that can be treated and with an early  diagnosis and virus suppression you could live a long life.

It's 2016 and every 10 minutes a person still becomes infected with HIV in the United States. Furthermore 38% of newly diagnosed HIV cases are of people that were infected by someone who did not know that they had HIV. Testing along can reduce the cases of new infections.

I have HIV and I insist that my partner have an HIV test. First off, I don't want to live in that kind of ignorance for him or myself. Most importantly, I am not trying to get re-infected with a different stain of HIV. What I have is more than enough.  By the way, a man can't tell me he got tested a year ago and let it ride. I have no idea what you have done with your penis in the 12 months prior to me. 

Testing for HIV is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. Staying in that ignorance could mean  how long you live or how soon you die. If you test positive  the better off you are in terms of life expectancy. The earlier they suppress the virus the healthier you will be. I know you think you know, but honesty, you don't know until you  take an HIV test. Living in what you think you know rather then what you know for sure is not a healthy lifestyle. I bet you know how much that handbag is that you want so you can get your money in order. *Blank Stare* But you don't know your HIV Status?

3) Have a talk with your partner. I find it so strange that when we talk about sex, we leave out some of the most important things. We know what position he likes best and that is important, and what you like it is equally important. But have you sat down and talked about HIV testing, condom use and other sexually transmitted disease. Have you even opened the door for the conversation? So many people are living with herpes and HVP, not in secret, not just HIV. You must to be willing to have an adult conversation about sex and how it happens with your partner. It makes for a healthy start to any relationship.  

So how to you talk about sex? At the kitchen table with all your clothes on. You cannot talk about sex, condom use in the moment of passion.

4) If you are infected with HIV. Get into treatment and care and STAY in treatment and care. I know it seems like an overwhelming burden. You send me messages about your struggle. But if I can do it for 33 years so can you. Think about this, when I was diagnosed there was no treatment, then came AZT, then can DDI then came more and more and more. I kept doing what my doctors asked of me and it saved my life. I want you to live a good life and the earlier the virus is suppressed the better off you will be.

a) Take your medication as prescribed

b) Talk to your doctor, ask questions, Co-partner with your care.

c) Get a support system. YOU CANNOT DO THIS ALONE

d) Get into some kind of therapy. Depression is very common with HIV and you don't need anything working against you

e) Find you a spiritual outlet

f) Find a community for yourself via social media. There are many people who follow me on my different social media sites who are positive and my post inspire them to keep going. Community is very important. YOU CANNOT DO THIS AlONE!

At the end of the day, I want women to  know that we have so much unspoken and untapped power! My challenge to you today, whether  you are infected or affected is to tap into the power within you, for a better you! Namaste

In honor of Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day the Office of Women's Health is sponsoring a blog hop. Please check out  the blog post of my partners for today.

Rae Lewis-Thornton Diva Living With AIDS Blog (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook)

Charreah Jackson,  Essence (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook)

Karyn Lee,  Red Pump Project (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook)

Dr. Hazel Dean, Black Doctor  Twitter, Instagram, Facebook)

#Doingit

I'm honored to have been asked to participate in the Center For Disease Control, Act Against AIDS newest HIV Testing Campaign, "Doing It." Donating your name and brand to a national campaign is no small thing. This is especially true, when you give someone else total control over how they present you to the public.

The best part of the campaign for me was the day long photo shoot working with two women that I love and respect. Charreah Jackson is the Lifestyle and Relationship editor for Essence Magazine. She also wrote the anniversary article on me for Essence, Dec 2015. Karyn Brianne Lee, is a Chicago girl and Co-Founder of Red Pump.

 I believe donating my time and name is worth it. Testing for HIV is important. What we know today is the earlier a person knows there HIV status and get in treatment, the longer you will live. In fact, early treatment for HIV could turn into decades of life. This is why testing is important.

The reality today, is about 40% of newly diagnosed cases of HIV are people infected by people who didn't know that they were infected. Testing can reduce new cases of HIV.

Join the campaign and be one of those #DoingIt Tag me on my Social Media sites after you have  tested  for HIV using the hashtag #DoingIt

 And if you see any of the billboards or adds in your city of Me, Charreah and Kayrn take a pic with it and post it on your Social Media site... Don't forget to tag me... I will repost on my Social Media Sites.

(I'm not sure which pictures of me they are using other than the tea party, even if's its only one picture, I'm wayyy excited, so be on the lookout.)

Gettin To Better!

What the hell have I been doing?   Well Lovely's, if I had an ounce of shame in my body, I would be wayyyy to embarrassed to tell you that I've been watching Netflix. But since my shame went out of the window when I started talking about my sex life 22 years ago, Netflix it is.

 I think I've watched about ten years of television shows in a sum total of 4 months. Well, honestly it's more than 10 years if you add up the 8 seasons of House, 4 seasons of The  Killing, 2 seasons of  House of Cards, 3 seasons of Law and Order, 2 seasons of Star Track the Next Generation, 6 seasons of Star Trek Deep Space Nine, 6 seasons of Luther, 9 seasons of Criminal Minds, 8 seasons of Foyle's War, 3 seasons of The Borgias, 5 seasons of Damages, 4 seasons of The Tudors, 2 seasons of Hack, 8 seasons of Dexter, 3 seasons of The Guardian and 1 season of Lie To Me. Not to name the movies and documentaries I've watched.

Yep, Netflix has been my go to as I go through this depression. If you recall, back at the beginning of the fall I confessed that I was tired of my complicated ass life and in the back drop of my dog Sophie's death, it all sent me into a depression. A part of me wanted to give up, but I didn't want to die. So Netflix replaced anything remotely productive in my life.  You can read my original blogs on my depression here. 

Seriously, these last 7 months have been interesting to say the least. I found myself in a space that I loathed but accepted in a healthy way so that I could get back to a better place. The overachiever in me made a difficult but smart decision, that is, to de-pressure myself from be all and do all. I just accepted my right now. I found that accepting my current state of mind gave me the space to really work on my dark places without the added pressure of, "I have to be OK because that's what everyone expects." 

While Netflix was my safe place, therapy has been the place where I've worked it all out. Both my therapist and psychiatrist have worked feverishly to help me.  I'm fully medicated now and we think that my hormones are leveling out. This menopause stuff is no joke and when you add that on top of the depression, I was one lost woman. 

I can see vast improvements from those early days. Espically in the days right after I lost Sophie.  I was so grief stricken that I couldn't function. My new puppy Chloe is 8 months now and spoil beyond any honest explanation. Other than, I was so grief stricken when I got her that I spent all of my time with her. She was only 3 pounds when I brought her home and I took her every place that I could get away with. But now Chloe is so attached that she expects to walk out of the door with me every time I go *smh* I created a monster. LOL  But her feisty personality was what I needed. She demanded that I live. Who knew that six pounds of fur could be that demanding and so full of life.

I knew that I had to get to a better place, so I started out slowly. I started with things that didn't require much of me.

Chloe demanded that I got out of bed each morning. That was my starting place. I had to get to better, but I didn't pressure myself. I just took it one day at a time. One project at a time. I did stuff that was easy, like de-cluttering my house. All I had to do was sit on the sofa and go through papers while I watched Netflix. LOL, but for real. This project didn't require that I dress up and be the center of it all. I went through years of papers and when I finished, I had like eight garbage bags, but most importantly I felt accomplished but not overwhelmed.

 As time went on, I began to gain interest in those  things that I enjoy the most. We take for granted the small things. I was so paralyzed by depression that even reading required to much of me. People tell you to just do it, but they have no idea how hard it is. I'm happy to say that time has gotten me to a better place and I'm reading and knitting again. My two favorite things on the planet. I also started painting. Many of you may know that I've been collecting art for over 20 years, but you might not know that I've always wanted to paint. About a month ago I got me some paint and brushes and the rest is history. I even enrolled in a drawing and painting class. YEY! for trying something new.

The hardest part for me has been work. I managed to get my 20 Collection completed by the time the Essence article was released celebrating the 20th anniversary of the iconic cover story. I kept up with the bracelet orders for the most part. A few people fell through the cracks, but I did my best each day.

I've completed a couple of blogs after the one about my depression.  I wanted to blog more but staying focus has been a challenge. While I have all these thoughts floating in my head, writing them down seemed like torture. I didn't force it. Adding pressure only added to my misery. Remember, one of the root causes of my depression was my super woman complex. I had to let her go to heal.  At least I got this blog completed and I see more in my future. Thanks for hanging in here with me.

I am also happy to say that I've been editing my memoir, Unprotected. I decided that it was time to tell the whole story about my crazy life that made me crazy. I've held on to the manuscript for seven years. When Hypierion Publishers walked away from the book deal I was crushed. 

Looking back, I understand that this is "my" story, not "a" story. I'm taking my ownership back, not just of the physical property but also the intellectual property. I have a right to tell my story how the hack I want. I said in the recent Essence's article on me that my memoir was to be released in March. I've pushed the date back because unrealistic, breakneck to get it done is not good for my emotional state.  May 2015 is the new release date. I'm planning my photo shot for the cover in April.    Thanks to everyone that have already pre-ordered my memoir. 

Honestly these last seven months have been one heck of a journey. The most useful thing in getting to a better place has been setting goals that are realistic. For example, my psychiatrist gave me the task of taking a shower everyday and I made the necessary adjustment to get it done.  I knew that I had to follow the plan to get better. What I found though, if I didn't get in the shower right after I brushed my teeth, it just might not happen that day. For real, I'm serious. It was so bad that showering required to much of me. Depression has this haunting way of interfering with your life and I've had to take baby steps to get to space that I'm in now. 

So here I am! I've made so much progress. My sadness is gone and the biggest thing for me is working on my anxiety. I'm not quite where I would like to be, but I'm better than what I was. For sure, I've taken it all in stride. I've done it one day at a time. Yep, I'm gettin to better! In the meantime, I'm honoring the space between no longer and not yet.

Reflecting on Essence at 20 Years!

This time 20 years ago, I was the talk of Black America. My cover story in the December issue of Essence magazine had hit the new stands. Essence had dared to put a woman on the cover of their magazine that was not a celebrity or a super model, but a typical young black women, living with AIDS.

I was every young black woman who thought that she was doing everything right in her dating life. Despite of the fact that I had grown up in a physically, emotionally and sexually abusive household, I had managed to escape, drugs and alcohol. I had gone to college. I had a professional career.

I had done everything I thought to do as a young woman living in the 80's. I never had a one night. I never had sex on the first date, but I was in search of the right man to live my fairy tail life, for the rest of my life. You know, a career, a husband, a house and 2.5 kids, that's two kids and a dog. With dating came sex. There were very few virgins in the 80's. This was the era of Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing and Diana Ross, "Love Hangover." Sexually Transmitted diseases were not on the radar. The first cases of AIDS were primarily white, gay and male. Even as late as 1987 Cosmopolitan magazine told women if they only had "heterosexual sex," they could not get HIV.  For the most part, the rule for young women of my generation was to not get pregnant out of wedlock and embarrass your mother. We saw "protection" as birth control pills.

Until 1991 when Magic Johnson announced that he was infected with HIV most of us in Black America only saw HIV/AIDS through the eyes of our gay relative on one end and our drug addict cousin on the other.  Or the television version, white, gay, male that looked like death was knocking at their door. Even then, we thought Magic was an exception to the rule. Many dismissed him as a "special case." Rich, good looking, and famous, we concluded that he probably had enough sex for a hundred men, thats how he became infected. Since most of us don't have that kind of sex, HIV was out of our reach, so we thought.

Then came me and the Essence cover story.  I had only been speaking for about six months when Susan Taylor asked me to be on the cover and tell my story. At the time, I had been infected with HIV since 1983, but I didn't learn about my status until I donated blood December 1986.

So when I appeared on the cover of Essence, I had actually known my HIV status for 7 years.  But for the most part I had basically kept my status a secret. Other than the men I dated, those first seven years I only told 5 people. When I made a transition to AIDS in 1992, I started to disclose to my friends. Then on a fluke, about a year later or should I say in God's purpose and plan, I started speaking locally in Chicago high schools. Then I met Susan. It all happened so quickly.  I had no idea the impact my story would have on the lives of others or on me; or that it would place me in the national arena and change my life forever.

In retrospect, it was our density, mine and Essence magazine. Even among Essence staff there was a debate over my cover story. It was pure audacity at the time. I thank God for His perfect plan and for giving both me and Susan Taylor the, editor and chief of Essence  the courage to follow that little voice inside of us, that said "this feels right. "For years women have told me the impact my story had on their life. Women still bring that magazine to speaking engagements for autographs.

There were other controversies around the cover story. Many AIDS Activist were angry with me because of the title., "Im Young, I'm Young free, I'm Dying of AIDS." Declaring that I was dying on the cover of a national magazine they said, made HIV/AIDS dark and hopeless. But honestly, AIDS was that dark back then and to give some pep talk contrary to the current situation would have been a lie. I was proud and not deterred by criticism.

Twenty years later, my Essence cover story has become one of the most iconic articles of the HIV/AIDS pandemic and I humbled.

I am equally thankful that I lived to see the 20th anniversary of this cover story. I thank God for my doctor who never gave up on me when  medications barley kept you alive. She was always looking for next; And no matter how complicated the next treatment was or how sick it made me I did it.

 I am also grateful for the continued relationship with Essence magazine. You can check out the 20th anniversary feature story on me in the December 2014 issue. You can also watch my video interview with Essence HERE

If you missed the December issue featuring me at the newsstands, you can read it HERE

Foot Note: In Celebration of the 20th anniversary... RLT Collection is 20% off! Coupon Code RLT20 And take a peak at the 20 Collection  that I designed in honor. Fab Bracelet designs all in red. SHOP HERE
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Monday Reflection: The Hardest Path- The Clearest Way..

I was reading in The Book of Awakening, that salmon make their way up stream by bumping repeatedly into blocked pathways until they find where the current is strongest. The rush of water for them means that there is no obstacle. For them, through the hardest going, the way is clear.

It made me think about us humans and all the things that we avoid because avoidance requires less work. For me, though, even when I have no gigs and I'm not sure how I'm going to manage the month's bills, I know that this is the path I am suppose to take.

My blog makes me no money, but yet, last month, I had 54,000 views. Doing the work that I do is the clearest way, but it's the hardest way and that's how it has gone for the last 21 years as an AIDS Activist. I was telling my BFF Luke the other day, the month that I was on the cover of Essence Magazine, the AIDS Housing assistance program paid my rent. I was just that broke, but yet that cover was the most talked about in Black America.

Also, for years after, in the area of love relationships, I wouldn't rock the boat because I didn't want to be alone. For sure that was connected to a deeper issue of self worth. Even claiming my worth was a hard road of therapy, self-reflection and eventually application. 

Knowing better and doing better are two different things and it has been one of the hardest part of my growth. Walking away from men or saying no to men that do not appreciate my value, over and above being alone is still hard. For me, it's the clearest path. Yet, on the other side of the coin, there are some who would prefer loneliness over the risk-taking that it requires in building something solid.  

I believe that all good things require work. Oprah says that luck is when opportunity meets preparation. There is no such thing in life as a free ride, not in career paths or love relationships. You must ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life downstream, being content with being content.

I know that my BFF is going through this now. Luke is an incredible, gifted producer. Almost a year ago, he left a well paying salary job to freelance. Freelancing has been the hardest path but it has been the clearest way. 

He has worked on some awesome projects in less than a year, the most successful season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, the BET Nelson Mandela coverage, he interviewed Spike Lee for BET's Oscar special and he was a part of the team that interviewed Lupita Nyongo for that same special. 

He has opened his own production company and is working on an awesome project for me, details later. He has been talking about doing this with me for years and I must remind him, if he was a staff producer at a network, he would not have had the time to work on this project. Producing is his passion, his gift and while its the hardest path, it's the clearest way. We always expect the pie to fall out of the sky, when it reality all things in life require work.

Doubt comes when you are in between your next gig. Doubt comes when you can't see clearly how it will all work out. Doubt comes when the checking account is low and you are deemed broke. Doubt comes when their are no new gigs. Doubt comes when you have your first bump in the road.  Doubt comes when you are missing him.  

 I dare venture to say, when seeking the hardest path, you may be broke financially speaking, yet rich in purpose. While you may be lonely, you love you for demanding respect of you. I believe its better to live with purpose and self worth than to have all the riches of the world.

Yet at the end of the day, I think that we should all be more like salmon and face life head on, and move our whole being through the hardest path to  the clearest way. 

• Take a moment and center yourself 
• Ask yourself what are you avoiding in your life?
•  Identify the resistance what part is coming from you and what part from others?
• Look for your truth and let that guide you through the hardest path to the clearest way.

World AIDS Day 2010: A Retrospective

Sixteen years ago today I appeared on the cover of Essence Magazine as the first Black woman to tell her story to a major publication. It was brave of me to tell the world that I had AIDS. Back then we saw AIDS as mostly white gay males. And if by chance a woman did have HIV, in the minds of most, she had to be an IV drug user or something close to a street walker. The idea that  a “decent” woman became infected with HIV was far fetched.

Then my story changed everything, especially for African-American women. Through my life we told women that even education, economics and a monogamous relationship did not necessarily keep you safe from HIV. It was bold for both me and Essence. Even the idea of putting a no-name woman on the cover of a magazine reserved for super models and celebrities was risk taking at it's best. But it paid off. It was one of the highest selling December issues ever and we achieved our goal. Black women across the United States started to rethink their relationships and sexual behavior. In fact, women still reach out to me to let me know that my story changed their life. I'm proud of that fact.

The cover of Essence changed my life and put me in the center of the fight against HIV/AIDS. Honestly, I had only been speaking for about six months when Susan Taylor asked me to do the cover story. Prior to that I had been living in secret and shame with HIV for about seven years. Then I made a transition to AIDS and I was staring death in the face. I started to disclose to friends and God started working out it all out. I accepted this new role for my life with transparency, grace and dignity.

I was on a mission to tell as many people my story before I died and I met this challenge with zeal. When my t-cell count was eight I was maintaining a breakneck schedule. AIDS was a sexy topic and I was at the center of it all. Eventually television came calling. The Oprah Winfrey Show.  Nightline followed me for six months and featured me three times. I even did a a series of first person news reports for CBS News Chicago that won me an Emmy.

But then things changed. I didn't die. I made it to the turning point in treatment, protease inhibitors. Things first changed in my personal life. My husband had married me to watch me die. He was gonna go around the country and talk to people about his life as my caregiver. But the longer I lived the more difficult the relationship became. He didn't know how to deal with my living. It became so bad, that I decided AIDS hadn't killed me, he wasn't going to kill me either. I found myself rethinking my life. I went to seminary and got my Master of Divinity to expand my work.  And I'm working on my PhD in Church History. I had always seen what I do as ministry.

I continued to travel and speak and the longer I lived the less sexy the topic of HIV/AIDS became. I saw a sharp shift in newly diagnosed cases of Black women and a lack of interest all at the same time. Essence hadn't been enough. But I never gave in or up. I continued to press forward and so did HIV. Black women became 72% of all new cases of HIV and AIDS became the number one killer of African-American women between the ages of 25-44.

So today I am saddened by it all. I mean it's World AIDS Day and I don't have a speaking engagement. Come on, I'm one of the most name recognizable Black women in America with AIDS and I don't have a gig today. It seems all surreal for me.

So I'm sitting here on my sofa wondering when will the tide turn. I'm wondering when will it ever get better?  When will the tide change for the better? When will the numbers decrease for African-Americans, both men and women? What will it take to make AIDS important today. Just as important as it became for white gay men in the 80's and  early 90's.
'

I have no answers to these questions that others need to help answer, I can only speak for myself. I will cross every T and dot every I until the day I die. I will take my medication and live as good of a life as I possibly can until my earthly purpose is over.

I will also continue to do the work. So just because I didn't have a big fancy speaking engagement at a college accompanied by a check to help pay my bills, that's real, I'm still forging on. Still doing what I do best. Because my life and work is ministry. I will walk through whatever doors God opens for me and I will continue to do it with grace and dignity until the day I die.


My World AIDS Day Schedule...
 5:45 a.m. cst-  NBC Chicago News Interview (Live)
9:30 am cst- Fourth Presbyterian World AIDS Day Workship Sevice
12noon-1:00-cst  Twitter Chat with the Boss Network
1:00-5:00 pm (cst)  Question and Answers on Twitter and Facebook
I will be going back and fourth between the two Social Media Networks
Featured on BET.com
Featured on BET 106th and Park shows airs 5-7pm cst
7:00-9:00 pm cst  Hanging with the ladies for a discussion and Ice Cream Social at Good Gyrrl Studio
1200 W. 35th Street Lower Level Free!!! All Are Welcomed....

Afrobella Weighs in on Make-up Artist Roxanna Floyd

I always wanted to ask beauty/natural hair guru Afrobella to be a guest blogger on my Diva Living with AIDS Blog, but I didn't want to infringe upon our friendship and make her feel obligated. Then it happened quite organically. We were talking the other day and she mentioned the passing of Roxanna Floyd. I stopped in my tracks. OMG! She was the make artist that did my face for the cover of Essence magazine. Well, I asked Bella to dig into her archives and share with my readers the life and work of celebrity make-up artist Roxanna Floyd who quietly paved the way for many to come and had well over 60 covers to her credit.  So here it is:

The world of celebrity makeup artists suffered a tremendous loss in February – the legendary Roxanna Floyd passed away at her home in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn. To many, her name may be unknown. But to fans of black celebrity makeup, Roxanna Floyd was a legend. Her first celebrity client was Yoko Ono. After Ono started recommending her to friends, Floyd’s career went into hyperdrive. Her first cover for Essence magazine featured Halle Berry, and Roxanna went on to beautify faces for 60 more Essence magazine cover stars. 

Roxanna forged close working relationships with some of the most celebrated contemporary icons of black beauty, including Angela Bassett, Whitney Houston, Queen Latifah, and Halle Berry. In the wake of her passing, some amazing tributes have appeared online. 

Roxanna Floyd was the Creative Beauty Director for venerable cosmetics brand Fashion Fair. Brand Manager Basheerah Enahora offered the following quote: 
 "We are truly overwhelmed by the unfortunate news of Roxanna Floyd’s untimely passing. Not only was Roxanna our creative beauty director, she was a friend…a sister…she was Fashion Fair® Cosmetics family. She possessed a wonderful gift of creating, accentuating and transforming beauty. Her innovation, creativity and flair will be missed – but her legacy and spirit will continue to live.”

Makeup artist Sam Fine rhapsodized about Roxanna in a touching tribute for Essence magazine: 

 “The makeup industry seems vast, but actually it's quite small. There are very few artists that reach a level where you recognize their name, identify their work at a glance, or rattle off celebrity clients that they've beautified. Roxanna Floyd was one of those artists. However, her artistry is not what I'll remember most. I'll always remember Roxanna as an artist who paved the way for many "artists of color" to reach new heights by setting a standard of excellence with her work on numerous magazine covers, music videos and celebrity clients. In an industry that isn't always welcoming to artists of color, Roxanna became a beacon of light, showing us how brightly our lights could shine.” 

Harriet Cole, Editor in Chief of Ebony Magazine, shared her personal recollections as a friend of Roxanna’s: “She was a genius with a set of makeup brushes. And she appreciated brown skin so much that she learned how to blend colors perfectly to ensure that a woman of any and every skin tone would be flawless before the camera. Roxanna was a perfectionist. Anyone who knew her will tell you that she was the queen of the eyebrow. She spent as much time as it took to sculpt a brow, so much so that you felt like even if you didn’t have anything but foundation and a brow, you were ready for anything!” 

I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Roxanna at an Oprah related event in Miami some years back. Even though I was but a young writer and a fan – I’d barely just started my blog, Afrobella -- she took the time to be gracious and friendly to me. I spent more than an hour watching her at her craft – making women look beautiful. She was like a hummingbird – flitting from side to side, deftly blending with her makeup brushes, absolutely in command of the moment. It was extremely inspiring. Rest in peace, Roxanna. Your legend will live on, and your work will forever be admired.

Post Script: I am honored to have been a face among Whitney Houston and Queen Latifah.  Roxanna's creative genius in my Essence photo shoot set the standard for me. I know you remember the glamorous, sensual look she gave me on the cover of Essence.

Here are more photo's from the 12 hour photo shoot with Roxanna and the Essence Beauty team.... The picture of me in the white dress has never been seen publicly. The picture in the black dress is the one that they wanted to use on the inside but because it was "see through," it didn't fly 15 years ago. They settled on the one in the silver dress... As you can see, Roxanna was able to create totally different looks for me in each one... She was gifted... For Real...
Thanks Afrobella for sharing your insights on Roxanna....