Damn Ladies You Have All The Control #FuckinFriday

Ladies, you have so much control, but often you give it up; You give it up because you don't want to be alone, lonely or without companionship. We give it up because we want to be loved. But having sex with a man will NOT guarantee love. The only thing it will guarantee is a fuck and maybe not even a good one. Furthermore, having sex without a condom sure won't earn you his heart forever, but it just might earn you a sexually transmitted disease that you will have to live with forever. Diseases such as, HIV, Herpes, HPV, Hepatitis.

So why is it that we continue to have sex without a condom? You, don't want to rock the boat? You don't want him to think that you think he is cheating? Well, the fact of the matter is, you don't really know if he's cheating. You think you know, but at the end of the day you just don't know.

You don't want him to think you may be stepping outside of the relationship? Well, if his mind is that small, then his penis should not be big enough for you. This is real talk here. If a man cannot respect the choices you make about your body and have respect that you want to keep yourself safe, then he is not worth your body.

This video has been floating around Facebook and I thought that I would share it with you. While it is super funny, it speaks volumes to the control that we have, but yet surrender each time we let a man penetrate us with out a condom... That's all I wanted to say... Wrap It Up! #FuckinFriday

And remember, every 10 minutes a person becomes infected with HIV in the United States. Don't let it be you!!!

I Got Your Whore....

I was in a deep sleep when I heard a male's voice say, "You fucking whore," and then a door slammed. It was coming from the girls apartment over me. I started thinking and couldn't stop.

There's no way at 50 years of age that a man can lay in my bed and then get so fucking mad with me that he calls me a whore and storms out of my house. Especially not at 3:00 A.M, after I have given him my innermost self.

Whatever it is, if we can't talk about it like adults then we can't talk at all. I can't be mad at something you're said or done and then talk to you like shit, or shut down on you and not talk to you; not answer your calls or your text. Which by the way, is the same thing as treating you like shit; and another level of emotional abuse.

 Adults should be able to agree to disagree but most of all, if we really care about each other, we should be able to talk about it with mutual respect. How do you say you love someone then don't talk to them? How can you grow and heal if you don't talk? How can someone know how to be better to you if you don't tell them what hurts you? It's crazy, we will tell a person how to give us the ultimate sexual pleasure, but not the ultimate emotional pleasure?

For sure, a man calling you a whore is a level of emotional abuse that seeps into the very core of your soul. You can't see the scares like when he hits you, but they remain deep within you, chipping away at your self worth.

I was so proud of her when he came back 20 minutes later and laid on her doorbell. She didn't let him back in. I don't know what was going through her head at that moment, only mind. And mine said, "Get a fucking life other than me! I got your whore." We teach people how to treat us! And for sure if they do it once, they will do it again. But this understanding didn't come over night. I had to learn it through the school of hard knocks.

I'm not gonna sit here at 4:45 in the morning and pretend I've been this self-esteem/self-love guru all my life. In my 20's I would have opened that door and then put some lovin on him he would never forget. It took years to learn that fuckin a man crazy won't make him love you, nor treat you with the respect you deserve.

Can I talk to some real people today? For Real!! Sex ain't love and just because the lovin is good don't mean that they love you or will love you. It took years for me to get that lesson too. But I got it and I have no desire to journey back into my past. Knowing better and doing better are two different things that don't always come together.

Often times our desire to be loved over powers self love. The shit we take just to have a man is beyond my understanding. The shit we do to see if he's faithful to us is beyond my understanding. This is for real. we have done some crazy shit, me included. I have no idea why I allowed myself to get caught in the madness. I done it all! I mean all! Search his house, listen to his voice mail, sneak by his house in the middle of the night and I didn't even drive back then. In the days before emails and cell phones you had to be creative to spy. it was madness at its best!

But by the time emails and cell phones had come around I was starting to love me more then wanting to be love. I refuse to troll your facebook and twitter pages. I refuse to debase myself to have any man in my life. If you don't know my worth, then you ain't worth me. Fuck YOU!! I'll be by myself forever and fuck myself rather than be fucked over! I like me and I like being with me! While companionship is always nice, and the feel of a man next to me is wonderful, I'm not one track or one dimensional.

There is nothing like a good book or a great meal and I can do both of them by my damn self. I so enjoyed myself last night at the World of Chocolate event for the AIDS Foundation of Chicago. Who knew that you could get such a high talking to strangers and eating chocolate.

We give up to much of ourselves to have someone in our life. If you can just learn to love you and hold onto you, then someone will love and hold onto you. For sure, it starts from within and steams outward. When I think about all the emotional abuse I took from men just to have a man.

When I think about how much of me that I gave away trying to get something; When I think about all the wear and tear that comes with being in and out of relationships looking for the right Mr. Right; When I think about how I wasted the best of me..... When I think about it all, I know that enough is a enough. I plan to hold onto the rest of me for me. So yeah, I got your whore, and she don't live here anymore...

Fuckin Friday: I Just Don't Get It!

I really don't understand the fukin problem. I just don't get it. Is it that men think something will happen to their dicks if they wrap it up? Have you men made yourselves believe that feeling her pussy is the most important thing? Do you believe that your dick is the best thing that ever happened to her, that she would never step outside of the relationship? Huh? Is feeling her pussy worth your life? Do you think she is so fine and so clean that she couldn't possibility have HIV? Or, that she's so upright that she would be honest with you. The fact is, about 38% of all newly infected people are infected with HIV by someone who doesn't even know they have HIV. So, you are expecting her to tell you what she may not even know herself.

And what about you ladies? I'm not going to put all the blame on him. It takes two to tango. He ain't fucking by himself, he's fucking with you. So why do you surrender the power you have of how, when, and what enters your innermost self? Is your self-esteem that low? Do you need and want a man that bad that you would put your life at risk? Do you think your pussy is made from gold? So wonderful that he would never put his dick in another pussy? Just wondering ladies because it's 2 to 1 that if you have unprotected sex with a man who has HIV, he WILL infect you. About 50% of all women infected with HIV are infected from having sex with a man. With odds like that, you couldn't pay me enough to have sex without a condom.

Now let me go there, because I'm not concerned with who you fuck, that's your business. I'm more concerned with how you fuck. That's my bottom line. So man and woman are not the only people who fuck in this world. Straight up! I'm not on a mission to prevent HIV with some and not others. HIV does not discriminate and neither do I. I want everyone having sex to understand their risk.

So, men do have sex with men? Let's go there for a moment. Why are you in denial gay/bisexual men who just have sex with men (MSM) (whatever category you put yourself)? Is it that you think, if you are the one penetrating and no one penetrates you, you can't get HIV? That does not matter. Whether you are a top or a bottom you are still at risk for HIV. And don't tell me you only have oral sex, because oral sex will not save you. Men do become infected with HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases from MSM oral sex! For Real!

Or is it that you are living in the expectation of doom? When I hear this I just shake my fucking head. You think since you have sex with men, you are gonna get HIV anyway, so whatever. Now that's some stupid logic! The fact is, the Centers For Disease Control reports that 1 out of 2 Black gay men have HIV. With a fact like that Brothas, there is no way in hell I would let a man look at me without pulling out a condom first. And don't be tripping on that craziness I hear about gay sex all the time, "Well, AIDS ain't a big deal. I have friends who have HIV and they only take one pill a day." Right!?! If they ass keep living they will one day end up taking 15 pills a day, just like me.

And don't think have forgotten ladies, that some of you have sex with women and not men. And there is a stupid ass myth floating among women who have sex with women that you can't get infected with HIV. Let me say this quick, you playing with some serious Russian roulette. Yes, honestly, it's true that the statistics are very low for lesbians, BUT low does not mean none. And the sharing of sex toys increases your chances of HIV infection. And bisexual women increase their chances even greater. If a woman is infected, all the wet stuff coming from her vagina is infected too! Bottom Line!

So now that I have covered all the sex groups, back to the point. We are all at risk for HIV infection no matter who you have sex with, or how you have sex. And guess what, HIV is not the only sexually transmitted disease you can get. 1 in 5 Americans have herpes and don't even know it. gonorrhea and syphilis is on the rise. And let's talk about HPV. Over half of American women between 14-59 have HPV and don't even know it. And we haven't even begun to truly count the numbers of HPV among MSM.

There's a lot of fucking out there and for as much fucking there is an equal amount of sexually transmitted diseases to match any kind of sex you could ever have. So Why, Why Why, would you put yourself at risk? I just don't get it. What's the fucking problem? AIDS is the number one killer of African-Americans between the ages of 25-44. 72% of all new cases of HIV in women are African-American women. African-Americans are about 48% of the HIV cases in the United States and we are only 14% of the population. So I just don't get it.

I don't understand why we won't protect ourselves. We spend a whole lot of time talking about what others are NOT doing about HIV, the Black Church, the Government, the schools. But my question is, what are you doing to prevent HIV? No one can save you but you! Every nine minutes a person becomes infected with HIV in the U.S. I just don't get it!