How could God expect me to deal with my weak and broken body that is chipping away at my spirit like a determined woodpecker? To hell with making it through the day like this; So sick from this IV medication that you can even hear it in my voice. Beat down from the herpes infection that I was wondering if they could just cut out my vagina and vulva to resolve this issue once and for all.
Everything that entered my head this morning was as ugly as the illness that I am facing. So the best I could do is hope for another day, with new thoughts that didn't compound my already defiled body. Yep, hoping for tomorrow on today seemed like the best solution, even if it was the most unrealistic solution. Wanting it to all go away was all I wanted at that moment. But I knew wishing it away was futile, it is what it is; Too late to change my destiny.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it was just one thing. And while I'm used to fatigue, this particular fatigue just wipes you out and you feel like nothing and the nausea is just maddening. But I think the worst of it all is trying to smile through the burning when I use the bathroom.
|A Week's Worth of Foscarnet|
I know in my heart that a better tomorrow will come one day, for that is God's promise to us. But God's time is not our to time, so I've just got to find the strength to continue pressing through the todays until I'm blessed with a better tomorrow.