Yep, as I review my 3 year anniversary to my blog and my use of Social Media to educate and fight stigma around HIV/AIDS people have said the darnedest things to me. I've been told that I was going to hell. I was told that if I'm a Christian then they wouldn't want to be one. I've been told that I definitely had a gift, but ummm I was definitely squandering it... hummm... Really? God been talking to you about me?
Yep, I've even been told if people really knew who I were, then they wouldn't fuck with me. People have told me that they have lost, "respect for me." I've been kicked out of my sorority. I've been told that I was selfish and self-centered and ummmm I was even told that my, "Pussy was a death trap." I've been lied to and lied on.
Yep, blogging and being active in Social Media has been a whirlwind these last 3 years. But at the end of the day I thank God for it. The good, the bad and the ugly. Well I've told you some of the ugly, but it ain't all been bad.
I've met some wonderful people. Reconnected with people along my journey. Expanded my message's reach by leaps and bounds.
My blog is now syndicated on thebody.com the largest on line HIV/AIDS resource in the country and Poz Magazine, the oldest HIV/AIDS magazine in the country, as well as Black Doctors.org. I''ve received CBS Most Valuable Blogger Award in Health and Wellness and The BlackWeBlog Award in Health and Wellness and the British Academy Golden Twit Award in public service.
Twitter went from 250 followers to 8,000. My Facebook personal page went from 1,500 to 5,000 and my fan page that I started the same time as the blog is over 7,000 fans. My You Tube went from around 2,000 views this summer to over 160,000. I've seen growth beyond anything I could have ever imaged when I wrote that first blog post on March 8, 2010.
But most importantly, I've made people think about their lives and how they are living it! And that at the end of the day means everything. I've encouraged and given voice to other people living with HIV/AIDS. I've bonded with other women who have been raped and sexually abused by brothers, uncles, mama's boyfriend and even daddy and giving them hope for healing.
Making yourself open to public scrutiny is more than a notion. It's left me somedays in outrage and other days in tears but with a clear understanding of my gifts and my call, my purpose, I press forward.
I told my friend Keith years ago, "Dr. Negro," as I call him, "Get over yourself, they talked about Jesus. Who are you, not to be talked about?" He and I laugh about that all the time. He says when times get tough, he is reminded of that one point.
Not only did they talk about Jesus, they challenged His ministry over and over again. Pastor preached about that on Sunday. How the leaders challenged the fact that Jesus dared to heal someone on the Sabbath, breaking law and custom. They betrayed Him, beat Him and eventually crucified Him. So who am I in the scheme of things? I get it, I'm just a peon in the scheme of this life. But I also understand that my life is not my own. God has kept me here for a purpose and I press toward that mark everyday of my life.
WOW!!! I got it!!! So with this understanding I through up a white flag and kept right on steppin. What people think of me good and bad will not change who I am. It took me a long time to like myself and then to start living like I like myself. I can't let others derail me nor the work that God has called me to do.
When I launched this blog I said this.....
A Diva Living With AIDS blog will be true to the essence of my work and life as a woman. I will educate and inform through my eyes and life. Like in the past, I will address a gamut of issues including: HIV/AIDS, childhood sexual abuse, dating, overall health, politics, and of course beauty, Diva style. I am not limiting myself to one genre; the sky is the limit. I made a promise sixteen years ago that I would be a voice for the voiceless, face for the faceless, bring hope to the hopeless and tear down barriers and stand with DIGNITY, as a Woman living with AIDS. This Blog is another way for me to keep this promise. I am not a professional writer, just a Diva Living with AIDS and having her say........
I've stayed true to this and will continue to do so, until God says it's over. I thank each of you for your support. Like for real... For real if it had not been for you, I would be blogging to myself.
Your support means everything
Thank you for sticking with me and my misspelled words. I'm looking for a new editor now. Thank you for sticking with me when my health derail my productivity and blog post were far, few and in between. Thank you for defending me and protecting me from the madness that I get in my blog comments. Thank you for sharing my blog with others... Thank you... thank you.... thank you for coming back over and over again... #IcannotdoitAlone
Post Script: My health is gettin better each day... And I'm gettin back to work, this means I will be blogging regularly... Thank you for your prayers...