You're Gonna Make It After All!

"You're Gonna Make It After All" was playing over and over in my head as I made my way to Chicago’s public transit system, better known as the “El.” As I strolled down the stairs, I tried hard to remember the other lyrics to the Mary Tyler Moore theme song: da da da da da. Who can a take nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? You’re gonna make it after all. “Yep, that’s it,” I declared to myself! I boarded the train with a huge smile on my face. You’re gonna make it after all!

Taking the train is a new adventure for me. Not one that I originally chose for myself but was forced to make. In October, I was so behind in my car payments. I had two choices: get them their money or give them their car back. I thought about it long and hard. If I really needed to, there was someone that I knew would loan me the money in a crunch. She would have lectured me (being like a mother to me and all). But in the end, I’m sure she would have come through. Another part of the equation at the time was access to my now ex-significant other’s car. So, giving up my car didn't seem that bad after all.

I mean it really made sense. Once I borrowed the money to pay the back bill, I was still going to have to generate enough cash flow to keep the car payments and my insurance current. And that was no guarantee. The economy had hit most of America pretty hard, including me, and speaking engagements have been few and far between. So I looked on as they loaded my beautiful Black Jaguar X Type onto the tow truck. “You’re making a smart decision, Rae,” I told myself confidently!

But now six months later, I’m winging it on my own. And honestly, the thought of getting on the train was depressing. It was such a convenience walking out of the door and getting in my car. But if truth be told, I had some pride issues that needed to be conquered. Getting on the train was dreadful. It was a painful blow to my ego. It felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach with combat boots. Ugh. I knew I had to adapt. “Get over it!” I kept telling myself that every time I made my way down the stinky, damp stairs leading to the underground train. But it just wasn't happening. I mean the train? A Diva like me should have a driver, but that was also a song I was singing to myself. LOL! This is the real world. And in this world, you pay for everything you get. So an occasional taxi ride and the “El” are as far as my money will stretch. I had accepted it by default, but I sure didn't like it.

But today, something magical happened as I strolled down the street with the sun beaming in my face and my Burberry wrap blowing in the wind. I could feel God’s presence. It was as if He was saying, “Hey Girllllllll! I’m with you no matter how you get there. Don’t you feel my warmth on your face?” And I could. That acknowledgment provided me with instant comfort. By the time I made it to those same damp, nasty steps leading down to the transit system I was singing, “You’re gonna make it after all!”

 I started tweeting and taking pictures with my iPhone. I knew people must have thought, "Who’s that rich nut?" Cause I was looking kinda cute and rich with my, "Im waiting on my next breakthrough," (i.e. broke) behind. I tweeted and Jenna Marie, who coordinates #TeamRae, tweeted back that she was proud of me being on the train and all. “#StillaDiva” was the latest Twitter tag I created as I maneuvered my way through Chicago using public transit. Yep! Being a Diva is also a state of mind. In the end, it does not matter how you get there, just as long as you do it with your head held high.