I've learned over the years that making real change only begins with a declaration. The rest requires WORK! I MEAN REAL WORK! The question then becomes how low do you have to go to make the positive changes in your life to be the best you for you? Like when do you get fed up with yourself to do what you were capable of in the beginning?
Like with me and men. I had to learn something new about myself, men and relationships to get to this place where I actually understand that sex is not love or that good sex, chemistry with a man will not determine if he will treat you right.
Lawd that was painful, and it took a lot of therapy to help me get to the root, so that I could pluck it out. Then plucking was hard, and it left me lonely but overtime it left me liking me and then in more time, loving the me that I liked.
My growth has been a journey in and of itself. I watch on Twitter all these positive thinking women telling other women about self-love as if it's just that easy to will it so, baby, you gotta make it so. But first you gotta change your mind. My first love used to say, change your mind and your ass will follow. He ain't never lied. But you first gotta understand the need for change and what got you there in the first beginning. I remember Oprah saying, once she realized that she didn't just like potato chips, but there was a reason she ate the whole bag instead of a few, she could then work on her weight in honesty.
I had to have EVERYTHING I saw, #ForReal. At first the need to change was out of necessity, speaking engagements had dried up and money was not rolling in like it had in the past. But I was still stuck no matter how hard I tried. I would always find an excuse to spend my last dime on something I truly didn't need in the first beginning. It was a vicious cycle. I would save and then spend it on bullshit in a matter of minutes.
To make real change in your life, you must dig deeper. You must be willing to answer the difficult questions. How did I get here? Then you must answer with raw honesty. But then after that is all said and done, you must be willing to do the work. Facing yourself is the easiest part, actually applying it will be the only thing that will ensure change. Is change possible? Absolutely! But you have to put on your boxing gloves and go all 10 rounds with yourself. This is your life, your battle and your victory to being the best you for you.