As I was walking Sophie this morning I started to give it a lot of thought. So at about 4:00 A. M. I was awaken out of my sleep by someone yelling and throwing things over me. Instantly, I said to myself, "Here she goes again." I took a deep breath and sighed then tried to go back to sleep. It was difficult because I could hear the one voice screaming, as things rolled across the floor; CRASH! BANG! BOOM! Then for a while it got quiet and I drafted back into sleep land. All of a sudden, I heard CRASH! BANG! BOOM! again. I looked at my phone, it was now 6:00 A. M. I dragged myself out of bed to go knock on her door. I was trying to be nice before I called the police. Next time, I will just call.
She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, I just want to get my things and go." That's when I noticed that she was wearing one boot. "Why don't you just knock on her door and ask for your boot?" I suggested. She replied though tears, "She's crazy. She literally picked me up and threw me out of her house." I took a deep breath. Just as I was exhaling, I saw a police officer standing at the outside door. "Thank God," I mumbled. I'm glad that someone had called. Clearly this was a messy mess that I could not handle. The girl jumbled up from the stairs and came down by me, scared she mumbled, "I don't want to get involved I just want to go home." I opened the door for the police officer and the first thing he asked, "Did you call?" "No, but I was gettin ready to," was my reply." He started to assess the situation.
The girl began talking, We went out drinking and she asked me if I wanted to spend the night. It was late and I said yes. We were up there and she just started screaming and throwing things. I don't know what happened. She's crazy.
The second officer had made his way to the outer door and the girl came closer and closer to me. My impulse was to guard my door and Sophie who was in the bed looking at me. I closed my door and opened the outer door for the police officer. The girl started trembling, she couldn't talk and so I gave a mini review, the police officer took over and I closed my door.
The Police office shut her door they stepped in and I could no longer here the conversation. I was wondering what the Officer thought the moment he stepped into her apartment. She has been trowing things for almost 3 hours or so. In fact, I have no idea how long the girl had been sitting on the stairs in the hallway, but when I found her there the girl in the apartment was still trowing things and screaming.
"So it's not me?" She asked. "No dear heart I've seen it over and over again." I could see the big thank you in her eyes and she sighed in relief. "There's something wrong with her I added, I would be done if I were you." She spoke up in a hushed tone as trying not to anger the girl upstairs. "I'm a really nice person. All I want to do it bake cookies and be nice to people." I giggled to myself. Wanted to say much more but it was not my place. My role at that moment was comfort.
By that time, the police officer came down with her boot in his hand, shaking his head. "How long have you known her?" He than began asking her more questions about their friendship. It was clear to everyone that she was in over her head; that this girl was not the girl she thought she was.
A few minutes later, the girl up stairs walked out of her apartment and when she saw her friend standing there she hollered to the police officers, "She don't live on this premise, make her leave." They shook their head and told her to go back into her apartment. Then she wanted to know for how long? Like really?!
When she shut her door, the police went back to speaking with the girl. They asked about her well being and how she was going to get home, the first officer on the call, a fine brother might I add, offered to give her a ride home.
I was so blown away by it all. We meet people and we really don't know who they are. All we really know is what they tell us and what we see. This goes for dating and non dating relationships. And what if, what they tell you, is a lie? How do you work your way out of their maze? And if God should fix it so you learn their truths, what do you do with them?
As we move into a new year and a better you, I'm asking you to access your friendships. Ask yourself these things: Does that person add value to my life? Do they take more than they give? Do they make you feel a certain kind of way at certain times? Are they always negative? Does everything add up or do you have that funny feeling about their life, the things said and the things you have seen. Are they really living the life that they preach? Do you have arguments over things that don't even make sense?
People are basically who they are unless they have had some real help over a long period of time. Change does not come quick and easy. Especially if their is some clinical mental illness that has not been diagnosed and even with those diagnosed. People stay in denial, and even family stay in denial and then change never comes. Sometimes, the change for that person is hard. Sometimes, they are not mentally ill they are instead, sociopaths that prey on people. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. Sometimes mental illness is an excuse for unhealthy behavior.
In all cases you must access your liability and your gain. The liability should never out weigh the gain.
Self-Love should be your parameter. If you feel a certain kind of way in your spirit when you are in contact with that person, you have to ask yourself honestly, is this feeling worth it?
Does this feeling destroy a part of my spirit each time I encounter them? Friendship should never hurt. This morning I saw a wounded girl, a hurting girl. I pray that she will deal with this trauma and go on with her life. For sure, when someone shows, you who they are, you better believe them or each time you come back, they will hit you harder and harder.
With Self-Love as your guide, you can be a better you! Happy New Year! Here's to making you a better you in 2013!