Facebook messages I get, keeping my bracelets stocked and promoting my work around HIV. And let's not forget, getting the weight off that was gained as a result of this medication the last time I was on it three months ago. I can't fit into my clothes and I have no money to buy new ones. Something has got to give. But mostly, I find myself wondering when will this nasty little bug attack my body yet again and force me back into this horrible cycle of fatigue, nausea, diarrhea and shutting down my life as I know it. My doctor has concluded that there is a part of my immune system that will not repair itself and fight off this AIDS related infection. So I'm stuck wondering when will it attack my body for the 8th time.
event at Encore Liquid Lounge on July 15th, in just ten days. I have given it the best that I got, working through the fatigue and nausea. But I'm still a nervous wreck. This is the first time I have ever hosted an event using my name and brand. Will people come is by far the most pressing thing. But then will people support me financially, buying raffles, bracelets and making a donation? Will I have enough Swag Bags? Will people have fun hanging out with me mixing and mingling? It's not a formal event it's a social one promoting HIV/AIDS awareness.
There is so much going on and it's not all just about me. I have a girlfriend with breast cancer and I worry about her as she goes into the next phase of treatment. I have a girlfriend who's waiting on pins and needles to see if her job will be phase out. There are people that I love who are struggling with some serious issues and all you can do is wonder if they will ever overcome them. I mean there's enough to go around.
Post Script: God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Grant me patience with the changes that take time, an appreciation for all that I have, tolerance for those with different struggles, and the strength to get up and try again, one day at a time.