Take Control Over Your Vagina!

Everything I do is ministry including writing this blog. And sometimes writing this blog is like preparing a sermon. I wait and wait on a word from the Lord, but it seems like nothing comes. Many nights I go to bed with no idea of what I will write about the next day. Yeah, a lot of times I think something up to make myself feel good, just like I did last night. I told my dinner companion, Brittany, that I was going to write about testing in the back drop of National HIV Testing Day a week ago. But truly, I just came up with something because I knew a blog had to be written. But those random ideas never really pan out. God steps in, as He did late last night! I turned to my over one hundred messages in my Facebook inbox to discover this video. I laughed out loud. And after I gained my composure I watched it yet again. My girlfriend Rev. Veronica Slater had sent it. She simply said, "I found this interesting and thought you might want it for your blog.

She was so right! But it was more than interesting it was on point! And I knew instantly that God had given me something to say that was straight from my heart. It is an unorthodox video, but it it so on point!!

I know right... It's WOW! But it is true. Women can take control of their bodies, in this case their vagina. For Real! And it is a must!! Why? Because AIDS is the number one killer of African-American women between the ages of 25-44 and 72% of all new cases of  women  with HIV are African-American. Every 34 minutes a woman in the United States is infected with HIV. But we change these facts, by taking control over our bodies.

It is 2-1 that if a woman has sex with a man who is infected with HIV, he will infect her. On the reverse, it is 20-1 that a woman will infect a man. Yes, it is easier for men to infect women, that's a fact. Approximately 12% of the men in the United States are infected from having sex with a woman and about 52% of the women are infected from having sex with a man.

Women must begin to take control of their bodies. I remember someone asked me in a speaking engagement about forgiveness of the person who infected me. The room went into an uproar. Most of the young girls there said, "HELL NAW!" Well, my answer was simple, "It's not about me forgiving him, it's about me forging me." At the end of the day, I had a choice to have sex or  to not have sex. To have sex with a condom or without. You can't blame someone else for  the choice you make about your own body. You lay down and get HIV, you could have kept you're freaking legs close. Cold, but it's the truth! You could have asked him to use a condom another truth!

Many times we don't ask because we are afraid of rejection. Some of us don't ask because  we live in some make believe world about our man and the relationship. I hear it all the time, "Im in monogamous relationship" WTF? If the penis ain't in your pocket you have no idea what it's doing when it ain't with you.  For Real! So why do we set ourselves up? Why would you live in such an arrogant world? There is no penis worth your life; And each time you have unprotected sex you are putting your life against that penis.

If a man don't respect your choice to use a condom, then he's not respecting you. And I  gonna ask, "Why would you have sex with a man that does not respect the choices you make about your body and life?" Just wondering, if companionship and the concept of love is more important than your life? Why are you  are willing to sacrifice self-respect just to have a man?

We can change these statistics!  But their must be some person responsibility somewhere in the equation. That's what the Protected Protect I'm launching is all about. People taking control over their bodies! The hardest fact to face with HIV is the simplest one, it is a prevention disease.

These day's I say come prepared. You can carry condoms in your make-up bag, or you can carry them in cute little case like this one. There are even female condoms that you can insert in your own body. The bottom line, you must take ownership of you vagina! We hope that the love will keep us safe, but I speak out of experience; At the end of the day, the only person that will keep you safe is you. The rule, if he is not your husband, no condom no sex. It does not matter how long you have been in a relationship with him. By the way, if you've been in a relationship with him that long and he hasn't married you, why are you wasting your pretty?  Love yourself more than you love a man, or the idea of having a man. It could save your life!!

Post Script: I am happy that both Just in Case and the Female Condom Company are sponsors of my Social Media Event at Encore Liquid Lounge on July 15th. Ladies you will be able to see both up close!!