I am acutely aware that my life is not my own. That it was shaped for God's purpose. I had no plans for HIV, abuse, or rape of my own, other than to fight for my life as hard as I could, but thanks be to God, He can create a plan out of what seems worthless and even unworthy.
Some people live a lifetime and never know their purpose. While some run from their purpose and others shape their purpose for acceptance and validation. But I have not only embraced God's purpose for my life, but do so with only the validation of God as my only concern. For I know that if I am faithful to God, He will make room for my gifts.
As I move into the next half century of my life, I can see God taking me to the next level and I'm not only excited, I'm committed! To some my ministry is powerful, cutting edge and provocative and to others my truths are ugly, vile and some say ungodly. But my ministry was shaped out of the ugly vile and ungodly.
It was uncomfortable for both of us, but to give help and get help sometimes you must pull shit out at it's source. You must be willing to dig deep in places and spaces. You cannot help the hurt, wounded and broken if you're not willing to meet them where they are at, rather than where you want them to be. Nor can you help to save lives with lies, half-truths, misinformation and sugar coated shit. And by the way, shit stinks no matter how much perfume you put on it...
My ministry was shaped for me. It's mine!! And the gift of my life against all the odds of an AIDS death is under girded in my acceptance of God's earthly plan for my life. I'm going on record today--- I don't apologize for one thing.. Not one tweet, Facebook, blog or what I say in any speech. If it is too much for your sensibilities then maybe it wasn't for you, *shrugs* you figure it out or not. But I'm not gonna spend any time trying to make you see... Nor will I allow you to interfere with someone else's blessing cause you can't see past what you know and think you know about how God works, and who God works through and what God works through.
Thank you Lord for keeping me against every earthly odd... Thank you for taking my shit and shaping, molding and making it something worthy... It's so true... With God... the rejected stone became the corner stone..