Living with this disease is a nightmare wrapped into a pretty package, setting you up. You see, the longer you live, the harder the living. It's a gift and a curse all wrapped into one. A gift because life is always worth living, but the cost sometimes is a tad overwhelming.
Yep, we should have hope for longevity and a life full with possibilities; And yes that's possible with proper treatment and care. And as I said, life is worth the living For Real.. For Real...
But as sure as my name is Rae Clara, some days I just want to list my shit and get it off my chest. Let it all hang out! Well, I sort of do that in a roundabout way in my blogs and when I speak, but truly, I've never just listed all the madness that I face living with AIDS. Yep, I could list it and the list would be long as hell, but then listing it won't change not a darn thing! Not one thing on my list will alter. It is what it is!
Why? Because no matter what I'm facing, I have to continue to believe that life is worth living. When God wakes me up in the morning I know that I am still a part of God's earthly plan, so why not embrace what's before me no matter how jacked up it is sometimes.
Now this is where my faith comes in. I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future. I don't know how many good days I will have versus bad days, but my faith tells me to believe that thing I cannot see, will be.
In the end if I see value in living, then I will make the best out of the life I'm facing. You see, I had the chance to change the course of my history 29 years ago. I made decisions based on everything I thought I knew about life, but in the end, it proved to be wrong.
All to do now, is take a freakin deep breath and keep on living!
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