Betrayal is an absolute Motherfucker! I have nothing pretty or respectable to say about it. I don't care where or who the betrayal comes from, when it comes, it shatters a person's spirit. These last few weeks I've had to deal with betrayal in my own life and I can tell you for a fact, that shit has knocked me straight down to my health and wellness. I have been trying to make sense out of the senseless and that is madness at it's best. Now be clear, I try my best to exit from madness as quickly as I can, so that it doesn't control me longer than the lie and betrayal has controlled me.
It's some serious shit when you learn that the person you thought you knew best, turns out to be someone that you don't know at all. One thing can question everything that you ever thought you knew about them. It changes the relationship immediately and that can never be recovered. You cannot go back, only forward. The thing is, a person has the right to make a bad decision for their life that effects you negatively.
As I connected to my IV drip this morning, I was thinking, "I wonder how Jesus felt about His own betrayal?" The Bible doesn't give us any hint at His emotion around the betrayal from both Peter and Judas, only how He felt about His imminent death. (Matthew 26:20-56) He does however, give us a hint about betrayal, Jesus say's "Woe to the man who betrays the Son of Man." (Matthew 26:24b) One Bible commentary suggest that "Woe, introduces a prophetic oracle, of lament or condemnation." So while Jesus tells us that betrayal is wrong, we have no glimpse of how or what Jesus feels about betrayal from the ones closet to Him.
The problem with clarity for many of us is the unwillingness to accept the truths in the face of the lie. We lend toward the half truths in the lie rather than taking the wrong of lying at face value. A lie is a lie, no matter how many truths it's colored with. Even when God reveals that thing we don't take heed. Often times we dismiss it out of some need to be loved. When someone shows you who they are, BELIVE them! Don't explain it away and don't make excuses. Operate in the truth!
This leads to another valuable lesson, Jesus didn't allow the information of His betrayal deter Him from His purpose. He just kept right on moving. Jesus was clear, the betrayal was not greater then what He was called to do. Sometimes, we give people who hurt us to much power over us. We spend more time lamenting the hurt that we can't heal. We stay stuck allowing that person to continue to effect us negatively. You can't spend all your time trying to figure out why they are jacked up. Nor can you make there sickness about you. Now be clear, yes you must process and mourn this, but you cannot allow it to control your life the way the lie controlled your life. You can't control what they did, but you can control what you do next.
The hardest part, is the love that you have for that person. How do you make the best decision for yourself, in spite of the fact, it may not be what they want. At the end of the day, you cannot be bound by there desires only your well-being. They in turn must accept the consequences of the choices that they made which altered the relationship. They must be honest, not just with you, but with everyone involved. I'm not gonna make this about what the other person should do. I cannot play God with someone else's life. I can only control me and how I proceed. You must remember this as you process the betrayal.
For sure betrayal is a a part of life. It was even a part of the life of Jesus. The question you must ask is, "How do I move forward in the face of betrayal?" I don't have the easy answer, shoot, I don't have any answers for you.
But what I know for sure is this---just like they had the right to make a decision about their live that ultimately impacted you negatively, you have the right to make the best decision for your life, even if it's not the outcome they want. I also know that you must find a way to heal. As long as you stay stuck, they continue to control your spirit. Don't you think that they have already had more control over you then they deserve?